Beauty standards have been around us for centuries. In each era, we are constantly pushed with the newest product or procedure to help you "fix" your body. Who said there was anything wrong with it? With the constant social media imagery, advertising, and celebrity culture, it's easy to feel like God made a mistake with your body. In this post, we'll explore three powerful ways you can overcome toxic beauty standards and embrace your true beauty in Christ. But first, if you're looking for support with healing body shame, we created a free email series with 4 actionable steps you can implement this week. Join us if you'd like! 4 Steps to Heal Body Shame What are Toxic Beauty Standards? Toxic beauty standards are unrealistic and harmful beauty ideals that we see advertised in media and society. Studies show that the effects of toxic beauty standards have caused extreme dieting, eating disorders, declines in mental health, and even breakdowns in relationships. They show up in many different aspects such as culture, race, business, and even religious spaces. Some that you may be familiar with are: Size 2 and 5'8" model requirements in the fashion industry The glorification of thinner waists and bigger butts in the Black and Hispanic cultures Emphasis on larger boobs for blondes and White women Popularity of the hourglass shape And these are just a few we may all be familiar with throughout our lifetime that are still being glamourized today in music, media, and advertising. How did they form? Some have formed based on business needs, such as the modeling industry. Most fashion designers prefer thin and taller women to model their clothing. Another example would be the adult entertainment industry requiring certain body types for adult films. Some toxic beauty standards are formed by the wide promotion of common preferences and opinions like that of black women having larger bottoms and this being heavily promoted through music. Although this is a common thing in our society, how can you overcome toxic beauty and embrace the woman God made you to be? Cut it Off The Bible tells us in Matthew 18:9, "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." This verse isn't saying to cut out your eye for real but to remove the source of temptation. If toxic beauty standards tempt you to be insecure, jealous, envious, or hateful towards anyone, it's time to remove them from your eyesight. What does this look like? Unfollowing, unsubscribing, restricting, or throwing the whole social media away! I had a client who had to do this. She deleted her old Instagram account to start a new one without following anyone. It was necessary so she could focus on what God was doing in her life and no one else's. Repent and Expose the Lies After you have removed the source of your temptation, prepare your mind to be renewed by repenting to God for any negative behaviors you've picked up along the way. This looks like asking God to forgive you for any jealousy, envy, hatred, or comparison that has poisoned your relationship with God, yourself, and your neighbors. Take note of the lies you've believed that caused you to deviate from God's plans. Lies like, "I'm not good enough without this. No one likes me when I look like that. I need to change this body part so I can feel better. Why did God make me like this?" You Must Renew Your Mind I talk a lot about mindset because renewing your mind is the most important step. After you've cut off your source of temptation, you've exposed the lies of the enemy, you now have room to change your mind. The beautiful thing about repentance is God gives you a clean slate to start fresh. Take the lies of the enemy and seek God's truth to replace them. Meditate consistently on His truths about your body, study them, and make His word your daily bread. There won't be any room for lies when God's truth is your daily nutrition. Do Not Be Conformed Any Longer My favorite scripture Romans 12:2 in the Amplified Version reads, "And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you]." Do not copy these superficial, toxic beauty standards. But focus on changing your mind and maturing spiritually so that you know God's will. When you know His will, you will be transformed into the beautiful woman He designed you to become. Need more support? You should join our free email series, Heal Body Shame. You will get 4 short videos under 3 minutes diving deeper into this method. Journaling promotes self-reflection and shifts in perspective.

Have you ever wondered what the Creator of the Universe thinks about little ol' you? Obviously, yes, if you landed here. I'm a Body Image and Self-Esteem Coach, and I'll be candid: I believe every single one of us wonders more about what other people think of us. Focusing too much on others' opinions can be the biggest obstacle to fulfilling your purpose. However, the thoughts God has about you are more significant and liberating. Start your journey to healing this week! Understanding God's Thoughts A Quick Study of Psalm 139:17-18 "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!" (NLT) What stood out to you in these verses? For me, it's the first few words, "How precious are your thoughts." The word "precious" in Hebrew is yaqar, meaning rare, valuable, heavy, or esteemed. How rare, heavy, valuable, and esteemed are God's thoughts about you! The second thing that stood out to me is that God's thoughts cannot be numbered or counted. They outnumber the grains of sand! Did you know that scientists don't know how much sand is on a single beach? It's impossible to count because of how vast it is. They use calculated guesses! We can't even guess how many thoughts God is thinking about a single person, let alone how much sand is on a single beach. Are God's Thoughts Precious to You? As a body image and self-esteem coach, a common denominator I see in potential clients is that the thoughts of others are their biggest problem. The anxiety, insecurity, and fears are usually due to how they're being perceived. While there is a part of you that should care, it shouldn't be the motivation for your life purpose. I'd like to ask every client who struggles with opinions, "Are God's thoughts precious to you?" Remember what precious means in Hebrew: valuable, esteemed, heavy, rare. It seems that other people's opinions are often held in higher regard and value, which can obstruct God's calling in your life. For some reason, what God says is forgotten when other people are speaking. Well, if you've forgotten the precious word of God, let's go back. So, How Does God Think of Me? God's word, the Bible, is filled with His thoughts, plans, purposes, and desires for human life. Here are some thoughts He thinks about you that you probably know by heart: "'For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" (Jeremiah 29:11) "'Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.'" (Isaiah 41:10) "'You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.'" (Song of Songs 4:7) "'For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.'" (Ephesians 2:10) I realized something while reading these scriptures: all of God's thoughts about you personally aren't even written in the Bible! Consider this—no one truly knows what God thinks about your life specifically, except for God. Psalm 139:18 tells us that His thoughts cannot be numbered. The Bible is a numbered canon, so His thoughts just cannot be fully searched! Wow, I am mindblown and thankful I wrote this today. I pray it's blessing you, too. Discovering God's Thoughts How often are you reading and studying God's word? As you spend time getting to know God more, the eyes of your understanding will be opened. You will begin to hear His voice and, as a result, discover more of His thoughts about you. What God is thinking about each of you is personal, intimate, and freeing. Do you need help learning how to study God's word? Join our discipleship classes live or take our self-paced bible study! We'd love to meet you and walk with you on this journey. Here's a pic for your socials if you want to share :) Embracing Your Worth The Importance of Self-Reflection Have you taken a moment to reflect on your self-worth? It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life and forget how valuable you truly are. Self-reflection is a powerful tool. It allows us to pause and consider our thoughts and feelings. When we take time to reflect, we can recognize the negative thoughts that creep in. These thoughts can distort our view of ourselves. They can make us feel less than we are. But remember, you are a creation of God, and that alone gives you immense value. Surrounding Yourself with Positivity Who do you surround yourself with? The people in our lives can greatly influence how we see ourselves. It's essential to be around those who uplift and encourage you. Seek out friendships that remind you of your worth. When you have a support system that reflects God's love, it becomes easier to embrace your identity. You start to see yourself through a lens of grace and acceptance. Practicing Gratitude Gratitude is another powerful practice. When we focus on what we have rather than what we lack, our perspective shifts. Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things you appreciate about yourself each day. This simple act can help reinforce a positive self-image. Seeking God's Guidance In moments of doubt, turn to prayer. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you. His perspective is the ultimate truth. He loves you unconditionally and desires for you to understand your worth. Conclusion: Your Journey to Self-Acceptance Remember, the journey to self-acceptance is ongoing. It's okay to have ups and downs. What matters is that you keep moving forward. Embrace God's thoughts about you. They are precious, and they are meant to guide you. You are worthy. You are loved. And you are not alone on this journey. Let's continue to seek God's truth together.

The short answer is yes, but there's more to it. Exercise is one of those things I highly recommend for overall well-being and self-improvement. Numerous studies have shown that engaging in physical activity has a profound impact on both mental and physical health. Just 30 minutes of exercise per day can significantly boost your mood, leading to a greater sense of happiness and contentment. But can it specifically improve body image, or is there more to it than workout routines? Struggling with body shame? Take 4 steps to heal this week How does exercise affect body image? Regular workout routines have a multifaceted effect on body image. It helps you appreciate body function over your flaws Reduces stress and anxiety to improve mood It gives you a sense of accomplishment, which improves self-esteem The flaws you once perceived begin to look better Studies show that daily exercise is a quick way to see improvements in your body image, whether or not there are physical changes. It's a great way to work towards a positive self-image while boosting overall health. But, is exercise all you need to do? Sometimes exercise is not the only answer to body image issues. You may reach a point in your fitness journey and realize you still struggle with comparison, self-consciousness, and insecurity. While exercise can mostly improve visible body image flaws, it won't always improve your mental health. You can feel good about yourself the day of your routine, and the next day, you're overly critical about your appearance. That's because physical routines can't solve spiritual and mental battles. Positive body image starts with your mind What negative thoughts do you think every day about your body? And what situation caused you to start the pattern of negative thinking about your body? Answering these two questions can help you identify the root, pluck it up, and plant a new seed. Something I've noticed in the body image and self-esteem industry is that we are good at covering up what we really think inside. We use makeup, workout routines, and even photoshoots to create the appearance of being better when we really don't feel any better. As a coach, I challenge you to start addressing your thinking about your body as you exercise. When you log your calories and routines, try to also journal your thoughts. Question them, ask yourself why that thought or statement is there. Slowly, your negative thought patterns will lose their power. Ready to begin? I created 4 Steps to Heal Body Shame to help you address those negative thought patterns about your body and self-image. In 4 days, you'll have questions and root patterns to dig up, and the opportunity for ongoing support from a coach. "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life." - John 6:63

I wonder how I would show up in the world if I had more Word in me instead of Beyonce, Rihanna, and hot girl summer culture. That's really what I hope to share with women: I'm stripping off and removing the standards of beauty that social media has put out there to accept God's truth of what beauty really is. I’m Synquette, and it’s my desire that all God’s prodigal daughters come back home and sit at the feet of Jesus, to restore their identity that society, pop culture, music, and social media stole from them. Overall, I just want all young women to always see themselves as God sees them: fearfully and wonderfully made and to be content in whatever state they find themselves in: whether single, married, small, tall, or everything in between, whether their face is “beat” or “bare face”. I just want every woman to live a life free from insecurity, rejection, fear, doubt, and unbelief so they can embrace their God-given identity. As we accept God’s love for us and adopt a Kingdom mindset, we understand that in many ways, we gain more by doing less. The more we drown out the noise of all those “get skinny in 10 days with this tea” ads that bombard us when scrolling our timelines, the less insecure we feel and the more we can embrace God’s idea of womanhood and beauty. The less of the world we want to hold onto and the more we give up the cares of this world, the more God can step in and supply all our needs. No more toiling for the affection of men or seeking the approval of others, your job now is to investigate the mirror, which is God’s Word, to truly see how beautiful you are and how wonderfully He created you. That is why it is my desire to see every woman that God has created live in God’s best. I want every woman to live a life filled with God’s glory, grace, favor, and honor. I want every woman to live a life free from insecurity, rejection, fear, doubt, and unbelief. I imagine a life where you, I, our grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and friends all live a life of true royalty. A life where we lean not to our own understanding but trust and know that our Heavenly Father, who art in heaven (Matthew 6:9 KJV), King and Ruler of everything, supplies all our needs, wants, and desires. He is truly our source for everything. A Book That Wakes Up Prodigal Daughters I’m on a mission to shake up every prodigal daughter with the truth of God’s Word until she comes to herself and no longer feels she isn’t good enough or measures up to society and pop culture norms. I don’t ever want any daughter of God to ever think there is something wrong with the way God created her. I want every woman to know that her Father, which art in heaven, can give her more than a guy who won’t commit or sends basic “Good morning, beautiful,” and “Can I come thru?” texts. I wrote this book because I know the young women who feel they can’t do better than the last guy who cheated on them. I wrote this book for the young women who don’t think they are worth a lifelong commitment in marriage. I wrote this book for the young women who feel they aren’t pretty unless they wear makeup and Fashion Nova outfits, or have a figure like Kim K and Kylie Jenner. This is NO way for a daughter of God to feel or go about living their life. I wrote this book so every young woman can take the steps necessary to erase, dislodge, and permanently remove every mindset and belief that hinders many from seeing themselves as God sees them. With my book, The Master Reset - A Girl's Ultimate Guide to Clearing Up Space on Her Spiritual Hard Drive, I hope that as I share my story, it helps women go after God's best with no reservations, because for so long I've allowed society to label me and never quite knew my own identity. But it wasn't until I saw my younger sisters following in my footsteps that I was able to see the errors in my ways. That's when I literally prayed and asked God to open their eyes, and I asked God to show my sisters their beauty, worth, and value, and how He could give them the desires of their hearts. If only they would obey and trust Him, (I go into depth about this in Chapter 2 of my book) but little did I know, through that prayer God would open my eyes to see me, and to see that it was I who didn't truly believe or trust God as I proclaimed, that I didn't know my true beauty or value because if I did I wouldn't look for love and acceptance in all the wrong places (trying to fit in and using relationships for validation) and I wouldn't listen to music that promoted fornication and overt sexuality and that became the inspiration behind the book. I realized that all the while I was trying to get the speck out of someone else's eye that God wanted me to remove the mote out of my own, and that's what I set out on a journey to do, evaluating areas of my life that weren't quite aligned with God's Word or His Will for my life and removing all those beliefs that kept me from receiving His best. Get an autographed copy of my book by sending a DM on Instagram!

The other day, a friend of mine posted on her Instagram story about the amount of exercise necessary to burn off a café-made avocado on toast. My immediate internal dialogue was: “Are you serious? Thanks for ruining the one meal I can have at a café!” If she had said the bacon and eggs, I would’ve thought, “I thought so. That’s why I have avocado on toast. Winning!” But no, she had to go after good old safe avocado on toast. Now, what am I going to do?! Eat muesli at a café? I can eat that at home. The café version is not any better, and it's three times more expensive. See, for those of us who have a less-than-positive relationship with food, you get my frustration. All my life, I have been developing a master list of sorts that contains every food declared bad. It’s a long list! I first started developing it at three years of age, and of course, it had the obvious offenders: Chocolate Lollies Chips Soft Drinks Chips McDonald's But as time has gone on, the list has exploded with things I never thought (as a child), would be worthy of exclusion: Some fruits Milk Nightshades Corn Bread Pasta Red Meat All sugars Some salads (actually most that are bought) Avocado on toast (thanks, friend!) Add to this list known food intolerances (beans) that I accrued in the last five years, and there ends up being very little that I can legitimately eat. So, what do I do? I essentially have two choices: Incessantly obsess over meals and control every morsel Have constant guilt about the foods I just consumed Ok, I am exaggerating a little. It’s not so bad anymore. I’ve grown up a lot, and my energy is occupied with other matters. But the list still exists. It just takes a lot more for the guilt to penetrate (because I don’t have the time to be at the necessary level of obsession to get a perfect scorecard on my eating habits) and for it to be lodged deep enough to make a difference. Although, at times it does have a cumulative effect. I’ve often thought that based on how I eat and the little willpower I seem to have in the face of food….that I just LOVE food. Certainly, with my overweight size, others would assume as such. 😕 But it’s quite the opposite: I kind of HATE food. This probably explains why as a teenager, I went through seasons where I just wouldn’t eat. I am grateful that it didn’t become a persistent pattern of behavior, which I in no way account for any strength in myself. That’s probably just another testimony to God’s surprising grace that makes an appearance frequently throughout my life history – mostly without my awareness. But I genuinely think I’ve HATED food. Because I couldn’t eat almost anything with peace in my heart. Everything I ate would inevitably contribute to my self-condemnation. I’ve had to think about this a lot as a parent. A lot of my friends are painstakingly persistent in making sure that their kids eat healthily. And I applaud them for it because they are genuinely concerned about the health of their kids, not because of body image. That is not at all how my list developed. For me, and with my default behaviors, my efforts are focused on ensuring that my daughter has a healthy relationship with food where she doesn’t deem ANYTHING as ultimately good or bad. She’s allowed to have chocolate, and she knows that it’s only unhealthy if it is in excess. At this age, I can decide what moderation is, and I retract the chocolate at the right time. But she certainly doesn’t see chocolate as bad. And I am going to keep encouraging this mindset for as long as I possibly can. I’m trying to embrace a completely different way of thinking about food: Food is neither good nor bad. Food is fuel. There are certainly better fuels than others; just ask a mechanic. But Jesus Himself declared all foods as clean (Mark 7:18). Now, He meant that the things we consumed did not contribute to the cleanliness of the soul. So, it’s not quite the same thing. But it does reassure me that food is not supposed to have some kind of impact on the value I place on myself. This is why the good and bad list was developed in the first place. I was using it to make judgments on myself and brutally scrutinize the one thing that stood between me and a healthy body image. Food is not supposed to determine our holiness or purity. It appears, at least scripturally, to give more attention to how food is consumed than what exactly enters the mouth (to a degree, of course). 1 Timothy 4:4 says, “For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving”. This verse makes me aware of the fact that there is still a lot of food that I don’t feel thankful for. Not because they are inherently bad, but because they still represent something ‘bad’ to me. Like the potential loss of love. Or rejection on account of my appearance. But at least I have a vision! I know that I will have truly healed from all body image issues when I wake up one day and realize that I am emphatically joyful and thankful for every food God has provided to me for my nourishment. I have a way to go, but I’m trying. Are you struggling with body shame and guilt? Join our free series called Heal Body Shame. You will get 4 short and impactful videos to help you address body shame and more support to overcome and be confident in who God designed you to be. This post was brought to you by Melanie J. Saward, a published author and ministry leader from Australia. She is the author of three books, podcast host of The Pink Elephant, and a mom and wife. Connect with Melanie: Instagram | Website

Music has always had a big influence on society. Do you remember in elementary school how easy it was to learn if you sang a song? This method of learning hasn't changed. If we aren't careful, music can become the biggest influence on our thinking, our beliefs, and ultimately our behavior. Let's look at the trend, "bad and boujee", a song created by Migos, and how it contrasts with God's design for womanhood. Is this trend God's design for womanhood? For humanity? Why do we live by these standards that only seem to lower the culture? I know people like to say, "OMG, it's just music. I like the beat anyway." HERE'S A THOUGHT: GET THE INSTRUMENTAL!!! Words become us. We only seem to understand this when it comes to reaching success. Our words have effects on every area of life. We don't even know what we're really saying when we repeat these words and caption ourselves with them. You could be summoning a ritual for Pete's sake, lol, or inviting demons into your mind. The more we see hatred in our society, the more we should evaluate what comes in and what goes out. It's not just the news we should be worried about; it's our everyday hobbies, friends, and activities around us that we should worry most about. Jesus tells us, "It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth." - Matthew 15:11. This includes who we choose to listen to and surround ourselves with. As women, as humanity, we are easily deceived without the Spirit guiding us. Did you know Satan was the angel of music when he was in Heaven? Now that he is here on Earth, gosh, it's no wonder such trash talk is called "music" today. (see Ezekiel 28:13-16) So, what and where does the word "boujee" come from? It has a French Mid-16th century origin. The funny thing is...people perceived this word to mean "higher-class" or "wealthy" when actually it is a word for the "middle-class" who conform to the same behavior patterns. People with the least amount of money seem to be the most materialistic because they want to be seen as "wealthy". So over time, you get the modern word "boujee" out of the French word "bourgeois". I took Latin and Etymology in school, so it actually has come in handy lol. I'm someone who cares what others think of themselves, so the background and origin of words today are important, as they seem to take on different meanings that can be dangerous! How does "bad and boujee" contrast with God's design? Don't get me wrong, we are not talking about the pride associated with having self-esteem or dignity in one's work/achievements... that is good. But pride as in, "the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one's importance. (arrogant, vanity, conceit, snobbery, haughtiness, big-headed) You are important in the sense that your life matters, but you are not that important over others to think you are better or higher. We are all human beings, like flowers that bloom today and are gone tomorrow. (Psalms 103:15-16) We all hate when people look down on us, yet the people behind the media encourage this attitude; just listen to their words and quality. How are they influencing our culture? God is against haughtiness. "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6. Pride is actually one of the seven deadly sins that God hates, listed in Proverbs 6:17. Now, He doesn't hate us, but He hates the conditions of our heart and soul because it separates us from Him. Pride will lead Him to resisting you and your advances in life. Who wants to come against the God of Heaven and Earth?! There are over 50 Bible verses about pride and the results of it. Why is pride such an issue? It rejects God's power and the influence of others around you. Pride says, "I'm the only one of importance, I can do it all without you!" QUESTION: Who put you on an island all by yourself? You were born into a world with at LEAST 7 billion people, and the first relationship on Earth was between God and man. (see Genesis 1) Second comes the relationship between man and woman. When was life ever just about YOU?! So, why not Beautiful and Humble? "A woman who cares more about who she's becoming than how she's looking will seek to be humble." What's wrong with these traits? Sis, these are far more precious than the diamonds in your ears and belly button; these traits are what set you apart from being stereotyped as "basic" and "superficial". These are the characteristics of God that He says are more precious than rubies! (Proverbs 31:10) So rare to find in women today! The Definition of Humble 1. having or showing a MODEST or low estimate of one's own importance. (meek, respectful, submissive) ANTONYMS: PROUD, overbearing. No wonder our men are going crazy lol, we often have "overbearing" attitudes. The world wants us to be EXTRA! Honestly, this is a headache for both you and your man, and definitely not wife material. The Lord blesses humbleness. (James 4:6, Psalms 10:17) We have to be careful with how we think or position ourselves. If we are proud and big-headed, God will see to it that in the same way you judge others, it will be measured back to you. (Matthew 7:2, Proverbs 29:23) But if we humble ourselves, God will exalt us in due time. See, we don't have to fight for the stage or the floor...God will lift you Himself! (James 4:10, 1 Peter 5:6) Humble doesn't mean you put yourself down; it means you also look out for others' interests more than just focusing on yourself. (Philippians 2:4) LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. (Mark 12:31) Hi! Thanks so much for reading this blog post. I pray it helps you see yourself through God's filter and encourages you to do away with the world's view of you. God loves you soooo much, and He only wants to help you live a victorious life where you actually know that you are worth it! It seems women have never felt good enough. Could it be because we always look to man for validation? We are on a constant "soul search," and your soul knows what it wants, and that is Jesus Christ. He died for you, to forgive you of your sins and to give you a new life. If you would like to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and you need help walking this decision out, head over here to discover your identity.

Sexual objectification dominates our culture. It's in our ads, our music, our TV shows, our books, and then we see it on our timelines, feeds, DMs, and behaviors. All I can think about is our youth. Our little girls are growing up in this noisy and bold era of sex and power. If we don't teach them the Bible way, then the world will teach them the corrupt way. The messages in our music today are beyond degrading, and it's been this way since the early 2000s. Of course, there were questionable messages scores ago, but it really had to be discerned. Today, it seems like nothing is censored for decency's sake and respect. This is not a post to bash these beautiful women, but I will say it is a disappointment to see our female influencers continuing the streak of misogyny and sexual objectification in music today. We already deal with this from the males in media and Hip-Hop culture, to see women join them instead of fighting back is upsetting. When the world goes in one direction, who will step out and say, "Nah, this isn't the way things should be"? We are living in perilous times where "evil is called good and good is called evil". We are living in times where it is "traditional" or old school to be a wife who cooks, cleans, and submits to her husband, yet the sexual, materialistic, domineering woman is to be praised and rewarded. I understand the mindset that says, "Well, since the men can do it, we should be able to as well." But what about the mindset that says, "We are sick of how we are being portrayed, and instead of joining them, let's change the narrative"? Why not show young women who look up to us that they are more than their bodies? Why is that so wrong? Because the times are evil, and people value the wanton and immoral freedom more than God's beautiful design for humanity. It's not like God came out of the sky and took our freedom from us; we have free-will and a right to choose our lifestyles. We all know by now that choosing a certain lifestyle produces negative or positive results. Our world is upside down because of this wanton and immoral freedom: abortions are tearing women and babies apart, the sex trade is hyper-funded, low self-esteem is plaguing our teens, children are having sex younger, and more heartbreaking statistics because of this defiance. You may ask, what does music have to do with this? It is an influence on our culture. The more these messages are sung to us, the more we catch on to the rhythm and move in their direction. So maybe they won't change the narrative, because they make too much money and are praised for what they do... but we can change it. We can start by telling young women around us that the acronym is, We Are Pure And God loved us so much that He gave His Son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have eternal life (John 3:16). We can start by telling them there is a better way of freedom than what this world is selling them. The world's freedom leads to chains and unfathomable pain, but God's freedom leads to abundant life and peace. God's freedom leads to healthy relationships, restored self-worth, and self-esteem, and a pure view of sex and marriage. It may seem popular to do it the way Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion are showing you, but please know that it's not as good as it looks. The Bible says, "The broad way leads to destruction, but the narrow way leads to life."(Matthew 7:13-14) It does not end well to follow the way that everyone goes, sis. I want to invite you to learn more about the narrow way that leads to life and abundance in Christ. And if this post helped you in any way, please use the share button below! Shout out to ImKai for this dope remix of W.A.P. Give it a listen and subscribe to her channel!

Some people think that you won't struggle with certain things because you have a relationship with Jesus. There's a lot that has changed about us but some things remain like the struggle with low self-worth and various identity issues. There are many strongholds a Christian still has even though they've been redeemed. So if your stronghold is low self-esteem, let's discuss how to build your self-esteem as a Christian. Join the Bold & Beautiful Course for free for deeper insight into overcoming insecurities and the fear of opinions. What is Self-Esteem? Self-esteem is confidence in one's worth or abilities; and self-respect. It's how you value and perceive yourself and is similar to self-worth. Self-esteem is built over time and is usually developed as a child. In my opinion, healthy self-esteem is an essential foundation after accepting Jesus Christ. I say this because self-esteem is a stronghold and bedrock of a person. It's so pivotal that it can determine how much you actually believe about Christ. Self-esteem has the power to alter your belief system and as a result advance or delay your destiny. How Self-Esteem Impacts Your Destiny I struggled with low self-esteem growing up. Childhood was a little unstable as my parents were going through a divorce. My dad struggled with a long-standing drug addiction and my mom was emotionally wrecked. It was hard to believe that I was worthy of love and acceptance. I was also the middle child of 7, so it was easy to get lost in a large family. My childhood circumstances planted strongholds of rejection and abandonment which affected my identity as a young woman. Because of this, I struggled to believe God's promises. It was hard hearing God say positive and uplifting things about my future when I was so accustomed to instability and negativity. If I allowed that to continue, I wouldn't be doing what I'm called to do today. I would've allowed the stronghold of low self-esteem to keep me hostage and limit what I could achieve through Christ. Here's the video explaining that time I laughed when a prophetic woman told me to start believing God's word. Push play and it will start right before the story. 😅 Isn't God a good, good Father? He knew that I struggled to believe Him so He came to tell me to start believing. Your lack of belief in God can be tied to low self-esteem because you don't believe good things can happen for YOU. Your belief system alters your destiny because you act from belief. In other words, what you believe is what you will do. Have you heard that famous saying from Henry Ford? “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right." This is biblical. Proverbs 23:7 says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." If you think you're not worthy enough to receive from God, you probably won't receive-- not because of Him, but because of you. Faith pleases God and it takes faith to believe that you are valuable, honored, and loved by God. Now let's see how we can get you out of your own way by building your self-esteem. How to Build Your Self-Esteem Biblically Repent for allowing the stronghold of low self-esteem to dictate your faith in God. Your destiny and identity in Christ are not up for questioning or debate just because someone or something made you feel less important. Forgive the people who did not build you up and affirm God's love in your life. Work on letting go of what they did or didn't do, or what they said and didn't say. Forgive the ones who rejected you and let you down and made you feel insignificant. Now that you've broken the power of the stronghold with repentance and forgave those who tore you down, you need to renew your mind. Rebuild yourself by studying God's nature and His love for you. Passages like Psalm 139, Psalm 8, 1 Peter 2:1-12, Isaiah 62, Isaiah 40, Luke 12:1-7, and so many others are great passages to study. Worship God in song by singing about His greatness. Fall in love with who God is and He will show you how to properly love yourself. It's because of His great love that you can see yourself correctly and then love your neighbors well. Loving God is the remedy for all inharmonious issues within your human nature. Surround yourself with a bible-affirming community. Attend a church, or bible study, and add a counselor or self-esteem coach to your team. Get away from environments that impact your self-esteem negatively. That could look like limiting social media, television, and superficial friendships. You know what those triggers are. Be Consistent You could add more things to this list that build your self-esteem, however, be consistent. All five of these steps are things every believer should do daily and more so when you have identity crisis like low self-esteem. Don't allow the enemy to creep back in with his tactics to keep you in limited beliefs about yourself and God. Was this helpful? Give us 5 stars and a comment below. To help you get started building your self-esteem, I have a free course called Bold & Beautiful: Overcome Insecurity and Fear of Opinions.

Listen to the blog instead: 3min Even the healthiest and most beautiful people struggle with insecurities especially when we are living in the social media era where perfection is glorified and humiliation comes easily. As believers, how do we biblically overcome insecurity? It takes more than just repeating nice quotes to yourself, Jesus offers us stronger solutions. What Is Insecurity in the Bible? Insecurity by definition is the uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. Biblically, insecurity is fear. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind." Fear in Greek is the word deilia meaning cowardice or timidity. Timidity is a synonym of insecurity. Insecurity happens when you experience something that causes self-doubt, anxiety, and fear. It's similar to the "fight or flight" emotion that throws your body into a panic. Emotionally, you feel threatened by something. For example, you could feel threatened when you see your friends dressed up better than you, when someone praises another person for their accomplishments, or when you see images online of superfit models. These situations and others can all trigger insecurity in your mind because you don't feel good enough about yourself. Insecurity is being afraid that you don't measure up. Because you have fear about yourself, it robs you of power, a sound mind, and love for other people. Your mind will be filled with intrusive thoughts and lies from the enemy, which weakens your ability to operate in the power of the Holy Spirit, which then causes you to be fruitless and carnal. Instead of bold confidence and sharing God's love with others, you're comparing yourself, you're competitive, and might even be jealous. Although this is a natural occurrence when you feel this emotion, spiritually it is an attack against your faith and your identity. Who Told You You Were Naked? Here's a profound truth I heard on Instagram by @iamgracestone. After Adam and Eve sinned, they saw themselves as a shameful disgrace and decided to hide themselves. When God found them, He asked, "Who told you you were naked?" In other words, who told you you were too skinny, too fat, too this, and too that? What situation made you feel ashamed and caused you to hide who you are? The words and influences of others can make us feel inadequate which creates fear and anxiety about ourselves. Remember what God destined for Adam and Eve, they were people who had dominion on earth and fellowship with God, they were unashamed of their true form. Until the enemy planted doubt in their minds and they followed through on it. If only they held on to what God already affirmed about them and what they should do, it would've been a different story. How does this relate to you? What identity in Christ have you stepped down from to believe the lies of the devil? But God always has a plan to get us back on track. 3 Steps to Overcome Insecurity To overcome insecurity, you should identify what are the circumstances that caused them. You wouldn't feel threatened or fearful unless something made you feel unsafe. It may be painful, but take inventory of those situations or words that made you feel unworthy or unsafe. Maybe you're always getting cheated on and you're unsure of yourself now. Whatever it is, be self-aware about it. It's time to put a stop to those things. Once you have the inventory of what caused your insecurities, figure out what is happening now that continues to trigger them. This helps you develop awareness of yourself and your surroundings so that you can form a plan of action. It could be intrusive thoughts, social media, wrong relationships, music, figure out what's constantly triggering fear. Repent for allowing these circumstances to put a spirit of fear in you. The Bible says God did not give you this spirit, so you must repent for allowing it to have access to you. Once you repent, you are free to turn in a new direction. Walk in the truth of God's word by studying and praying the scriptures into your heart and mind. The Bible says, "The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but they are mighty through God to pulling down strongholds." - 2 Corinthians 10:4 Next Steps It's worth noting that step number 3 is a consistent strategy for engaging in spiritual warfare and winning your battles. But you aren't doing this alone. You have access through God's Holy Spirit to help you get the victory and become a healthier version of yourself. You also have the Body of Christ to support you in walking out your faith and keeping you accountable for spiritual growth. That's why I created the free Bold & Beautiful Course: Overcome Insecurity and the Fear of Opinions. In this course you will learn: where insecurity comes from and how to break up with it how to overcome your fear of people and their opinions what insecurity reveals about your needs and desires my practical tool to help you take control of your thoughts plus bonus content It's all free so get in now and start getting victory over insecurity and fear of people. If this was helpful, rate and comment below and share on your Facebook.

Struggling with insecurity happens to everyone at some point, whether you're struggling with body image, self-esteem, or confidence. Here are 6 bible verses about insecurity that will help you renew your mind so that you become secure in God and in who He made you to be. Don't forget to download your bonus scriptures and sign up for our Overcome Insecurities course. Proverbs 29:25 AMP "The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in and puts his confidence in the Lord will be exalted and safe." The definition of insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; a lack of confidence. The second definition is the state of being open to danger or threat; a lack of protection. Insecurity is rooted in fear and worry about yourself which is not a state of mind God desires for you. Most times we fear how we're perceived by others and the Bible says this is a trap. Fear sits at the root of many mental illnesses and character flaws. These fears trap you in codependency, obsessive-compulsive disorders (OCD), people-pleasing, and low self-worth. But those who trust in the Lord will be safe and lifted. Song of Solomon 4:7 AMP "O, my love, you are altogether beautiful and fair. There is no flaw nor blemish in you!" The Song of Solomon is a book of love poetry about fiances getting married. It's a picture of God's love for His church. In the Old and New Testaments, we learn that the church is the Bride of Christ. So as the bride of Christ, God doesn't see any flaws in you! The blood of Jesus makes you clean from all sin and flaws you think you may have. Psalm 139:14 AMP "I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well." The word fearfully in this scripture means astonishment, awe, a wonderful and glorious thing. When God formed you, it was an astonishing and glorious moment. But it would be best if you didn't rave at the fact that your creation and birth were so amazing. The most important point of Psalm 139 is God's omnipresence and omniscience. When the focus is on God's greatness, your flaws become very small in comparison! Spending time learning about God's character, attributes, and love for humanity will crush the fears that you have about yourself because all of your hope and trust will be in His eternal power. Philippians 4:8 AMP "Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]." Feelings of insecurity come from your thoughts. You are thinking about things that cause you to feel insecure, afraid, and worried. In this scripture, Paul encourages you to think about the good in every situation and think about what is positive. If you're feeling insecure about your looks, think about what is good about your body. The key is to think continually about the good so that your brain learns how to be more positive instead of negative. Ephesians 2:10 ERV "God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us new people so that we would spend our lives doing the good things he had already planned for us to do." God called you to do good works on earth. But it's impossible to do when you live in a state of fear. The person you are is the person He is calling. You don't need to look better to step out on faith. You don't even have to feel better, you just have to trust God and believe that He can help you. 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind, and self-control]." As mentioned in Scripture number one, insecurities come from fear. Fear is a spirit that God did not give us. Your fear of who you are, what you look like, or fears about life did not come from Him. Fear came into your life when someone rejected you, said mean things about you, or some traumatic experience happened. As long as you struggle with insecurity, you will lack peace. This scripture says God gave you a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. Fear prevents you from being calm, and well-balanced, and prevents you from making good decisions. Ready to be free from insecurities and be a bold and beautiful woman of God? Take our BOLD & BEAUTIFUL Course! This course will help you understand where your insecurities come from and how to break up with them for good.

Jealousy and insecurity appear to be natural to the female population especially since body image and self-esteem issues are on the rise. What do you do when you can't shake feelings of jealousy and insecurity about yourself? It's beautiful that you're seeking God's wisdom on this topic. Let's see what the Bible says about jealousy and insecurity. Before we dive in, I want to invite you to take our free courses. We'll take a deep dive to address the roots of these issues so that you gain victory in Jesus. What is Insecurity? According to the Oxford Dictionary, insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself and lacking confidence. A second definition says it's the state of being open to danger or threatened. When you're feeling insecure, you're unsure about yourself and experiencing feelings of self-doubt. Different things cause us to feel insecure like lack of career, physical attributes, or negative circumstances. Insecurity creates feelings of fear and causes you to feel threatened by those who have what you think you do not. For example, you feel insecure if you notice your significant other looking at another woman, you may feel insecure when applying for a higher position at your job, and you might feel threatened by women who appear smarter and better-looking than you. What does the Bible say About Insecurity? In the Bible, insecurity has its roots in the spirit of fear. You're afraid that you're lacking something you need in your life. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind, and self-control]." - 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP The synonyms for insecurity are both timidity and fear. These emotions do not come from God's Holy Spirit, fear is a spirit that should be cast off. God's spirit gives us the boldness to be ourselves and the ability to love others. When you feel insecure and threatened by people, you cannot love them properly because insecurity can carry jealousy. What is Jealousy? Jealousy can be righteous or unrighteous. Righteous jealousy is when you experience feelings of possessiveness like when your significant other steps outside of the relationship or someone takes something that belongs to you. God's name is even called Jealous because He demands what is rightfully and uniquely His (Exodus 34:14) -- you and your devotion. However, unrighteous jealousy is when you're angry that someone has something you want or if you think it's better than yours. If left unchecked, it turns into envy which is more sinister. Envy hates the person because of what they possess and wants to take it away from them. What does the Bible say About Jealousy? James 3:16 says, "For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice." When insecurity leads to jealousy, it causes disorder in relationships and causes you to compete with people. This is unloving and unspiritual and of the flesh. The Bible also says that this is why prayers aren't answered due to the motives being selfish. (James 4:1-10) If you ask for what other people have, the motive is only to fulfill your selfish desires for beauty, wealth, or whatever it is you think you're lacking. How to Overcome Jealousy and Insecurity When you struggle with insecurity and jealousy, it comes from a place of lack. I recommend starting with repentance and working on renewing your mind. Begin identifying what it is you think you're missing and why. Once you identify those things and why you believe they are missing, weigh them against the truth in God's word. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take every thought captive and make it obey Christ. To do this, ask your thoughts questions like this: Am I really lacking beauty and physical attributes or is it my social media diet feeding me lies? Because God's word says, "I am altogether beautiful and there is no flaw in me." - (Song of Solomon 4:7) Is she better than me? Because God's word says, "We are created equal and Christ is our Superior." (Hebrews 1) This is the daily practice of renewing our minds and becoming more like Jesus. Make a daily habit of doing this with every thought that does not align with God's word. Conclusion I know you believe you're lacking something but the Bible says you aren't. "Those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing." - Psalm 34:10. When we place our trust in man or the worldly status of our day, we will believe we lack a lot. There is always something new to keep up with, but those who trust in God will have peace and satisfaction. Take a deeper dive into insecurity, fear, and jealousy by signing up for both of our courses. You will receive more strategies about how to take thoughts captive and homework to help you gain more clarity and self-awareness of these issues.

They say comparison is the thief of joy, and honestly, it is a plague to the female population. It appears while you're scrolling online on social media, or while doing some shopping at the mall. Maybe you whisper to yourself, "Just be thankful for everything I have. God is always good", but you still find yourself wondering why everyone else's life (or body) is better than yours. Here's how you can overcome comparison in 5 steps that you can skip to now. Repent Limit the trigger Be honest with yourself Practice thankfulness Study scripture Bonus: Sign up for our free course for your breakthrough from comparison What Does the Bible Say About Comparing Yourself to Others? Let's look at scripture from the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 10. In this chapter, Paul is addressing some believers who were attacking his apostleship and boasting about themselves. "Of course, we wouldn’t dare to put ourselves in the same class or compare ourselves with those who rate themselves so highly. They compare themselves to one another and make up their own standards to measure themselves by, and then they judge themselves by their own standards. What self-delusion!" - 2 Corinthians 10:12 TPT Why would The Passion Translation say that comparing ourselves is self-delusion? Comparing in Greek is sugkrino, which means to "identify with or judge something together". It also means to contrast or resemble, a comparative evaluation. When you compare yourself to another person, you are identifying with them and judging yourself against them. It's like putting two images together and doing a checklist of what's different or similar. It sounds like a silly thing to do, doesn't it? That's what we are doing in our minds, we are judging ourselves based on what others have which is very unwise. Everyone is in a different season of life, so to compare your season to what God is doing in someone else's life is delusional. You are failing to realize and make peace with God's Sovereignty. If you were supposed to have it the same way that someone else does, then surely He would have made it so. Another scripture reads, "Don't compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours." - Galatians 6:4 ERV. The Bible tells us to focus on our own work so that we can be proud of what we've accomplished. We should never base our contentment and satisfaction on "keeping up with the Kardashians". What Is the Standard? Think about it this way, when you're comparing yourself to someone, you are making them the standard of what your life should be like. The Bible tells us that holiness is the standard and that we should imitate Christ. When we make other people the standard, we are making them superior and this leads to idolatry. This is when you choose to obey something or someone other than God. The measure you're using to compare yourself is sinful and isn't rooted in God. The only person we are called to imitate is Jesus Christ. If we're going to measure ourselves by someone, then put your life and Jesus' life next to each other and compare how holy you're becoming since being a follower of Christ. Everything else is folly and sinking sand. 5 Simple Steps to Stop Comparing Yourself Self-discipline is painful, but it will produce righteous fruit in your life. What makes these steps simple is that overcoming comparison is not as hard as it seems to be. It just takes consistency and honest self-evaluation. Repent for comparing yourself and for coveting what others have. The first step for Believers to get victory over anything is to repent for doing it wrong and work on changing the direction. Ask God to forgive you for your lack of contentment, for your lust for things people have, jealousy and envy, for being unloving, for unthankfulness, for all the things that lead to comparing ourselves to someone. Repent for having a selfish and carnal view of your life and others. Limit the trigger to compare yourself. In Biblical terms, remove the source of temptation. What causes you to fall into comparison? Remove that thing or limit your exposure either forever or for a season for soul work. This could mean taking a break from social media, stopping celebrity television, or restricting your cousin or friend's posts that you often compare yourself to. The Bible says, "Lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily entangles us..." - Hebrews 12:1. Whatever is driving your thoughts of comparison, lay it aside. Come back to the reality of your own life. Romans 12:3 calls this "be honest in your evaluation of yourselves" and Galatians 6:4, "focus on your own work". One way to focus on the present is to write a thankfulness list of 10 or more items and situations you can thank God for. Be honest about where you are in life and release the fantasy or measurement that you have in mind. Being sincere and repentant is the path to healing and deliverance from your current state of mind. Practice thankfulness, as previously mentioned. Psychology studies have proven that thankfulness gives you a boost in mental wellness and happiness. When we are thankful for what God is doing in our lives, we leave little room for discontentment. Building a habit of gratitude can help with the temptation to complain and compare. Along with your thankfulness list, study the scriptures about contentment, thankfulness, and jealousy so that your brain begins to process what is true and discard the lies. Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus on what is true and the positive things in our lives. Don't focus on what you see as "lacking" and "missing", but focus on what is true, lovely, and good about your situation. The word of God is powerful and pulls down strongholds, so if comparison seems strong in your mindset, it just hasn't heard the word of God yet! I pray this helps you start the process of overcoming comparison. 87% of women compare themselves to images online, so you are not alone in your struggles. If you'd like to take a deeper dive into the heart condition of comparison and experience a breakthrough, sign up for our free Stop Comparing Yourself Course.