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Jealousy and insecurity appear to be natural to the female population especially since body image and self-esteem issues are on the rise. What do you do when you can't shake feelings of jealousy and insecurity about yourself? It's beautiful that you're seeking God's wisdom on this topic. Let's see what the Bible says about jealousy and insecurity. Before we dive in, I want to invite you to take our free courses . We'll take a deep dive to address the roots of these issues so that you gain victory in Jesus. What is Insecurity? According to the Oxford Dictionary, insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself and lacking confidence. A second definition says it's the state of being open to danger or threatened. When you're feeling insecure, you're unsure about yourself and experiencing feelings of self-doubt. Different things cause us to feel insecure like lack of career, physical attributes, or negative circumstances. Insecurity creates feelings of fear and causes you to feel threatened by those who have what you think you do not. For example, you feel insecure if you notice your significant other looking at another woman, you may feel insecure when applying for a higher position at your job, and you might feel threatened by women who appear smarter and better-looking than you. What does the Bible say About Insecurity? In the Bible, insecurity has its roots in the spirit of fear. You're afraid that you're lacking something you need in your life. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear , but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind, and self-control]." - 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP The synonyms for insecurity are both timidity and fear. These emotions do not come from God's Holy Spirit, fear is a spirit that should be cast off. God's spirit gives us the boldness to be ourselves and the ability to love others. When you feel insecure and threatened by people, you cannot love them properly because insecurity can carry jealousy. What is Jealousy? Jealousy can be righteous or unrighteous. Righteous jealousy is when you experience feelings of possessiveness like when your significant other steps outside of the relationship or someone takes something that belongs to you. God's name is even called Jealous because He demands what is rightfully and uniquely His (Exodus 34:14) -- you and your devotion. However, unrighteous jealousy is when you're angry that someone has something you want or if you think it's better than yours. If left unchecked, it turns into envy which is more sinister. Envy hates the person because of what they possess and wants to take it away from them. What does the Bible say About Jealousy? James 3:16 says, "For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice." When insecurity leads to jealousy, it causes disorder in relationships and causes you to compete with people. This is unloving and unspiritual and of the flesh. The Bible also says that this is why prayers aren't answered due to the motives being selfish. (James 4:1-10) If you ask for what other people have, the motive is only to fulfill your selfish desires for beauty, wealth, or whatever it is you think you're lacking. How to Overcome Jealousy and Insecurity When you struggle with insecurity and jealousy, it comes from a place of lack. I recommend starting with repentance and working on renewing your mind. Begin identifying what it is you think you're missing and why. Once you identify those things and why you believe they are missing, weigh them against the truth in God's word. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take every thought captive and make it obey Christ. To do this, ask your thoughts questions like this: Am I really lacking beauty and physical attributes or is it my social media diet feeding me lies? Because God's word says, "I am altogether beautiful and there is no flaw in me." - (Song of Solomon 4:7) Is she better than me? Because God's word says, "We are created equal and Christ is our Superior." (Hebrews 1) This is the daily practice of renewing our minds and becoming more like Jesus. Make a daily habit of doing this with every thought that does not align with God's word. Conclusion I know you believe you're lacking something but the Bible says you aren't. "Those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing." - Psalm 34:10. When we place our trust in man or the worldly status of our day, we will believe we lack a lot. There is always something new to keep up with, but those who trust in God will have peace and satisfaction. Take a deeper dive into insecurity, fear, and jealousy by signing up for both of our courses. You will receive more strategies about how to take thoughts captive and homework to help you gain more clarity and self-awareness of these issues.

They say comparison is the thief of joy, and honestly, it is a plague to the female population. It appears while you're scrolling online on social media, or while doing some shopping at the mall. Maybe you whisper to yourself, " Just be thankful for everything I have. God is always good ", but you still find yourself wondering why everyone else's life (or body) is better than yours. Here's how you can overcome comparison in 5 steps that you can skip to now. Repent Limit the trigger Be honest with yourself Practice thankfulness Study scripture Bonus: Sign up for our free course for your breakthrough from comparison What Does the Bible Say About Comparing Yourself to Others? Let's look at scripture from the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 10. In this chapter, Paul is addressing some believers who were attacking his apostleship and boasting about themselves. " Of course, we wouldn’t dare to put ourselves in the same class or compare ourselves with those who rate themselves so highly. They compare themselves to one another and make up their own standards to measure themselves by, and then they judge themselves by their own standards. What self-delusion! " - 2 Corinthians 10:12 TPT Why would The Passion Translation say that comparing ourselves is self-delusion? Comparing in Greek is sugkrino , which means to "identify with or judge something together". It also means to contrast or resemble, a comparative evaluation. When you compare yourself to another person, you are identifying with them and judging yourself against them. It's like putting two images together and doing a checklist of what's different or similar. It sounds like a silly thing to do, doesn't it? That's what we are doing in our minds, we are judging ourselves based on what others have which is very unwise. Everyone is in a different season of life, so to compare your season to what God is doing in someone else's life is delusional. You are failing to realize and make peace with God's Sovereignty. If you were supposed to have it the same way that someone else does, then surely He would have made it so. Another scripture reads, " Don't compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours." - Galatians 6:4 ERV . The Bible tells us to focus on our own work so that we can be proud of what we've accomplished. We should never base our contentment and satisfaction on "keeping up with the Kardashians". What Is the Standard? Think about it this way, when you're comparing yourself to someone, you are making them the standard of what your life should be like. The Bible tells us that holiness is the standard and that we should imitate Christ. When we make other people the standard, we are making them superior and this leads to idolatry. This is when you choose to obey something or someone other than God. The measure you're using to compare yourself is sinful and isn't rooted in God. The only person we are called to imitate is Jesus Christ. If we're going to measure ourselves by someone, then put your life and Jesus' life next to each other and compare how holy you're becoming since being a follower of Christ. Everything else is folly and sinking sand. 5 Simple Steps to Stop Comparing Yourself Self-discipline is painful, but it will produce righteous fruit in your life. What makes these steps simple is that overcoming comparison is not as hard as it seems to be. It just takes consistency and honest self-evaluation. Repent for comparing yourself and for coveting what others have. The first step for Believers to get victory over anything is to repent for doing it wrong and work on changing the direction. Ask God to forgive you for your lack of contentment, for your lust for things people have, jealousy and envy, for being unloving, for unthankfulness, for all the things that lead to comparing ourselves to someone. Repent for having a selfish and carnal view of your life and others. Limit the trigger to compare yourself. In Biblical terms, remove the source of temptation. What causes you to fall into comparison? Remove that thing or limit your exposure either forever or for a season for soul work. This could mean taking a break from social media, stopping celebrity television, or restricting your cousin or friend's posts that you often compare yourself to. The Bible says, "Lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily entangles us..." - Hebrews 12:1. Whatever is driving your thoughts of comparison, lay it aside. Come back to the reality of your own life. Romans 12:3 calls this "be honest in your evaluation of yourselves" and Galatians 6:4, "focus on your own work". One way to focus on the present is to write a thankfulness list of 10 or more items and situations you can thank God for. Be honest about where you are in life and release the fantasy or measurement that you have in mind. Being sincere and repentant is the path to healing and deliverance from your current state of mind. Practice thankfulness, as previously mentioned. Psychology studies have proven that thankfulness gives you a boost in mental wellness and happiness. When we are thankful for what God is doing in our lives, we leave little room for discontentment. Building a habit of gratitude can help with the temptation to complain and compare. Along with your thankfulness list, study the scriptures about contentment, thankfulness, and jealousy so that your brain begins to process what is true and discard the lies. Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus on what is true and the positive things in our lives. Don't focus on what you see as "lacking" and "missing", but focus on what is true, lovely, and good about your situation. The word of God is powerful and pulls down strongholds, so if comparison seems strong in your mindset, it just hasn't heard the word of God yet! I pray this helps you start the process of overcoming comparison. 87% of women compare themselves to images online, so you are not alone in your struggles. If you'd like to take a deeper dive into the heart condition of comparison and experience a breakthrough, sign up for our free Stop Comparing Yourself Course .

When I was a teenager, music had a big impact on how I saw myself. When I fell in love with Jesus, I changed what I listened to. I spent a few years curating a Spotify playlist of positive Christian music about body image and self-esteem. As young Christian women facing the pressures and unrealistic beauty standards of today's world, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. But in this chaos, music can be a powerful source of encouragement, reminding us of our true worth and beauty in Christ. So, here is the exact playlist that helped me gain confidence in who I am in Christ. Save it to your Spotify and check out my top 5 faves from the playlist below. Check out this carefully chosen list of Christian songs that focus on body image, inspiring us to love and accept ourselves just as we are. 1. "Find Your Way" by KB Kicking off our list is the timeless anthem "Find Your Way" by KB. This song was #1 on the playlist for so long. KB tells it like it is to a young prom queen on a man's arm who truly doesn't value her. Yeah, she's beautiful and she's popular but she's very insecure. You're going to love this one. 2. "Tell Me I'm Pretty" by Brynn Elliot In this song, Brynn gains the courage many girls need when she says, " Don't need nobody else to tell me I'm pretty". It's a chill pop song that will help you realize that you don't need to hear another compliment to feel worthy. 3. "Gold" by Britt Nicole Britt Nicole's "Gold" is a fun pop song that celebrates how special and valuable each of us is. The lyrics remind us that our worth and beauty go beyond what’s on the surface. It's a joyful anthem that tells us we're all precious treasures in God's eyes. 4. "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz is a touching song that reminds us real beauty comes from within. It challenges the harmful messages of perfectionism and encourages us to embrace our unique selves, flaws and all, as a reflection of God's love and creativity. 5. "Tailored (ft. Beckah Shae)" by Tony Tillman Tony Tillman and Beckah Shae come together in this encouraging upbeat mix to remind you that you are tailor-made. You were custom-designed by God's hand, and there is nothing wrong with the shape of your body parts. Conclusion In a world full of unrealistic beauty standards, these Christian songs provide a refreshing take on body image, self-worth, and true beauty. Their inspiring lyrics and uplifting melodies offer hope and encouragement for young Christian women trying to embrace their true beauty and worth in God's eyes. So, whenever you're struggling with negative body image or self-doubt, crank up the volume, let these songs lift you, and remember—you are fearfully and wonderfully made, just as you are. We would love for you to drop a comment of the song you liked the most! We are always looking to add more music to the Spotify playlist, you can contribute by sharing a song you think should be listed.

There has been a major increase in women and teens struggling with body image within the past few years. Believers are not exempt from the same struggles that many others face. Studies show that about 90% of women are struggling with their body image. It seems like a scarce topic discussed within Christian circles, so I compiled a short list of books I recommend to help Christian women struggling with body image and self-esteem, some I have read. By clicking the images, you will be taken to Amazon to purchase these books and I will earn a commission that supports our ministry. Girls Gone Wise In a World Gone Wild by Mary A. Kassian I read this book in 2017 and I loved it! Mary Kassian expounds on different topics and areas of life and contrasts them with the corrupt nature of the world. The chapters range from beauty and fashion to relationships, media consumption, and personal success. Every girl should have this book on her shelf if she desires to seek godly wisdom for her decisions in a culture that is eager to silence God's truths. Modesty Playbook: A Practical Guide to Modesty by Jasmine C. Garner If you're struggling with your outfits and feel convicted about them, I created a short and free ebook about biblical and practical modesty. This ebook will teach you basic concepts of modesty in the Bible, how modesty relates to body positivity, and provide a visual blueprint of how to dress modestly. Pink Lips and Empty Hearts by Heather Lindsey I read this book probably in 2019 and I also sent a copy to my little cousin who was struggling with self-esteem. Heather Lindsey delivers the truth with a lot of love in this book. She is like a big sister teaching her little sister that being dressed up and good-looking won't make her feel better about herself. Many women walk around with a mask of flawless beauty but are deeply wounded in their souls. You need this book if you can relate to always looking good but never feeling as good as you look. Breaking Free From Body Shame by Jess Connolly I haven't read this book but I've seen it show up many times. The reviews on Amazon are inspiring and I love that she says, "Dare to reclaim what God has named good." That is true! In Genesis 1 and 2, God looked at everything He had made and said that it was good. The word good translates to excellent in this context. So if you're struggling daily with eating habits and obsessive comparison, this is a great study for you. Compared to Who? by Heather Creekmore Here's another book that directly relates to your daily struggle with eating habits, comparison, and just not liking what you see. Compared to Who? is also a ministry and podcast similar to ours and she has great reviews for helping Christian women take practical steps to improve their body image for the young and the elderly. Raising a Body-Confident Daughter by Dannah Gresh Lastly, if you're a mom of a young woman, then you also have a responsibility for raising your daughter's self-esteem and body image. You're not alone mommy! Grab this companion book from a mother's perspective as she shares eight godly truths with you to teach your baby girl. There are a few other Christian body image books available but these are my top picks from Amazon. The first two cover other areas and touch on self-esteem and body image. The last three are specific for the daily habits you may have in your body image struggles like weight loss, dieting, and body confidence. Hope you get the healing you need! ❤️ Are you also looking for body image courses? Check out our full list of resources .

I shared a YouTube video titled, "Self-Confidence Is Not a Requirement for God to Use You", and the truth is, it isn't a requirement. In our human nature, we often think that our potential and success are only up to us. We think that we can only go as far as our confidence will allow. But there's good news, self-confidence was never a command to do good things. However, many women ask the question, "How do I boost my self-confidence as a Christian? Is it okay to have self-confidence?" I think the underlying question is, how do I believe in myself and be bold in my walk with Christ? Believing in Yourself Believing in yourself is not a bad thing as a Christian, however, it takes on a new meaning when Christ is Lord. The Bible tells us that we no longer live for ourselves, we live for Christ. "My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20 The part I'd like to point out is, "So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God". We are called to place no confidence in the flesh (Phil. 3:3), however, we live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God. The reason that you can believe in yourself is because you believe in Jesus and what He did for you. When you placed your faith in Jesus, He gave you the power to become a daughter of God. And this grants you access to every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 1:3-6). You are lacking nothing when Christ has provided everything you need to accomplish His will. If you believe this, then you can have confidence in who you are and in everything you do. Remember The Cross Ultimately, when you're struggling to believe in yourself, you should remember the cross! Remember how much Jesus loved you that He went to the cross to defeat your enemies. Remember that you have access to God through Christ. Remember that He has given you gifts to accomplish His purpose. Remember that you have His Holy Spirit to counsel you. Remember Phil. 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Speak the Word of God If you're into affirmations, I highly recommend using the word of God to declare your confidence in Christ. Battles are not won by your own willpower and human wisdom but by the spiritual weapons of warfare. Ephesians 6:17 tells us that we are to use the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. When you're tempted with self-doubt and fear, that is when you do as Christ did in the wilderness, remind your enemy that "It is written..." "It is written that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It is written that I live my life trusting in Christ. It is written that God says fear not for He is with me." Believing in yourself as a Christian begins with Christ. We are not confident in the "self" and all of our human strength and accomplishments; rather the "self" is confident in Christ's strength and what He accomplished on the cross. If this helped you, share it with your girlfriends on social media by clicking the share button below. And if you struggle with insecurities, take our Bold and Beautiful Course to help you become the confident woman God desires you to be.

We can't address the need for modesty without understanding the origins of sexual objectification & the spiritual war that's surrounding us. Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person solely as an object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity. First, sexual sin is no stranger to the human race. It is understood that sexual sin has had its deep roots in our society since the beginning of time. Sin is our general issue, the ways in which we practice sin only further & deepen the condition. Sin causes us to mistreat God, other people, & ourselves. So in the context of sexual sin, we bring harm to ourselves (1 Cor. 6:18), harm to the recipient (1 Thess. 4:6), & ultimately offend the Holy & Most High God. (1 Thess. 4:8) these scriptures address sexual immorality, which involves two people joining together for intercourse outside of marriage. What do sexual immorality & sexual objectification have in common? They are both sexual sins. One could say the latter (objectification) leads to the other (intercourse). How is that? Because Jesus teaches that adultery starts in the heart, "when we LOOK with lust at someone we commit adultery in our heart" (Matthew 5:28) & also "if our EYES cause us to sin, pluck it out" (Matt. 5:29) Objectifying someone is imagining or looking at them in a way that reduces them to lustful desires. I am led to believe that sexual objectification is a fruit of sexual immorality. When we indulge in this sin, we harm others because we are taking what does not belong to us (their body), & using their body only as an object to please ourselves. In turn, this causes us to see other people as an object of our pleasure & a way to get our needs met. Sexual immorality causes us to see other people as an object of our pleasure & a way to get our needs met. It is self-seeking. Their name, personality, soul, & purpose don't matter when you are only thinking of yourself & that moment. You might say, "Well, my boyfriend loves & cares about me." But if only y'all knew how damaging it is to indulge your bodies in what doesn't belong to each other. Someone who cares about you wouldn't want to hurt you in this way. If He knew Christ, he would see you & love you like Christ. This leads to the next point, sexual objectification in advertising, media, and propaganda, 'doesn't matter' because you are only trying to increase sales or get a message heard. The person behind the camera doesn't matter, only the photos. The first signs of sexual objectification appeared in the 1870s when Pearl Tobacco decided to put a naked woman on their cigarette box. By the 1880s, they were the leading brand in cigarettes & other brands started catching on to their tactics (1). Sexual Advertising in the 1900s continued to trend with subtle imagery & catchphrases until now in the 2000s, it's super blatant & deemed a social norm. Today, it is normal to see a Victoria's Secret commercial AND fashion show live, when around the 1930s - the 1960s they were adamant about censoring nudity & sex in film & TV (2). Statistics show that this has led to a heightened sex appeal in men & women, and I'd beg to differ that this has contributed to misogynistic lyricism in hip-hop, uncensored television, increase in pornography, increased occurrences of sex-trafficking, & I'm sure there are plenty more shameful things unmentioned. Sin has no boundaries, it keeps going on & on & on. This plays into the record low self-esteem that women & men deal with because of sexual sin being rampant. Take a look at these ads from back when... because we see others as objects of pleasure, ads like this became another way to sell more products. Not only did we learn how to increase sales with nudity & sex appeal, but we also learned how to play on society's emotions for consumerism. "We've cracked the code! Push the imagery & the messages to the masses, so that people will emotionally respond & buy our solutions to their problems. Tell her she is nothing without this look & she'll go buy it. She'll destroy her body & health to be accepted because we told her she wasn't good enough." In ending, "Be not conformed to the world systems & customs, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is the good, acceptable, & perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2) It is not God's will that we harm ourselves by self-objectifying which leads to low self-esteem & exploitation. It is not God's will that we hurt others by only seeing them as their body & meeting our needs. It is not God's will that we offend Him with our sinfulness, but that we have a restored relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ. Renew your mind & relationship with Him today. #trends #sexualobjectification #sexappeal #history References: Psychology For Marketers, (1) Arizona State University, (2)

I was so pleased to see that famous R&B singer K. Michelle decided to speak out about the negative effects of plastic and cosmetic surgery. Frankly, she is the only celebrity who seems willing to open up about the horrors she and others have faced. I'm also glad that Lifetime picked up the idea as a series to help shed light and bring hope and healing to the many men and women who've experienced the drawbacks of undergoing plastic surgery. I actually wrote about this epidemic a few years ago, mentioning the increase in surgeries in young adults. Previous Blog Stats (2018) Plastic surgery is on the rise with an increase of 115% since the early 2000s. - ASPS 333,000 cosmetic procedures were done in patients 18 years old and younger. - Journal of Adolescent Health Cosmetic Surgery is a $2.2 billion dollar business. - Cosmetic Surgery Trends $16.4 billion was spent on procedures in 2016. A lot of money is spent in this industry, similar to the makeup industry. I don't know any other industry that grows as fast as makeup, fashion, and surgery; I think this says a lot about us. We are obsessed with vanity! I know of 3 women close to my own circles who went to Miami to get butt surgeries. You may say, "Why do you care? It's none of your business." It's not. But I care because I don't like seeing so much poor self-image, competition, and conformity in women today. I'm willing to bet that there's a large percentage of women who seek out surgery because of culture and entertainment influence. The same reason a lot of women went bulimic or anorexic to become size 2 models. There's a standard out there that most of us wish we could meet. Updated Plastic Surgery Stats (2020) The 2020 total revenue of surgical and nonsurgical cosmetic surgery in the USA was $9.31 billion - Statista The most common procedure worldwide is breast augmentation (breast increase) - Statista The plastic surgery industry saw an increase of 7.1% since 2018 - Forbes Why is Cosmetic Surgery a Problem? Some studies show that mass media and advertising may have an effect on the decisions for cosmetic surgery (I Want to Look Like That!) It sounds like there are millions of people, mostly women, who are unhappy with their natural appearance. Celebrity culture glorifies getting work done on their bodies which in turn, influences society to do the same thing. Are we really living in a "monkey see monkey do" society? It's crazy to think that we let other people influence how we feel about ourselves and our lives. I was so happy to see all of the Body Image Movement advocates speaking up about the issues women face with appearance and acceptance. "It's about time," was all I could say once it started getting more attention. Even the Body Image Movement has its pros and cons, it appears that in our feat to be ourselves, we are missing the biggest part about ourselves... How Does God Feel About Body Image Issues? God created humanity in His image. We bear the marks of our Great Creator who shaped us from the dust. You don't have to believe this truth but think about how complex your body is...think about the many things that we still cannot explain. Think about how your body naturally repairs and recovers itself, yet, it still dies. If God made us in His image, a body designed by a Grand Designer, with a Master Plan, the very words of God who spoke the Universe into existence, then why isn't this enough for us? Let me tell you a secret, which really isn't a secret at all, however, it is available to those who have the ears to hear it. "God has planted eternity, a sense of divine purpose, in the human heart." - Ecclesiastes 3:11 AMP This means that we all have a deep longing for living forever, we have a longing for a purpose bigger than ourselves. Could this longing that you have to stay young, stay beautiful, and stay relevant, be the very evidence that you desire something deeper than the surface? Maybe what you are doing on the outside, is a reflection of what you need inside of you. Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay vibrant and healthy, but our desires can turn into a disaster, an epidemic of self-hatred and insecurity. I am here to tell you that there is a fountain of youth. Where is the Fountain of Youth? Sorry sis, there's no physical place for the Fountain of Youth...unless...you want to take a trip to the Dead Sea lol. I heard and read that Dead Sea minerals hold anti-aging beauty secrets 👀 which I've used before on my nails; might wanna add that to your list. But here is the secret that transforms life as you know it, God holds the Fountain of Youth and wants nothing more than to give it to you. He went all the way to the point of death just so you could have it FOREVER! Here is what God says about obtaining the fountain of youth: "And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever." 1 John 2:17 NLT The truth is sis, you can get all of the Botox and plastic surgery you want, but one thing is for sure, you will get old and die. However, the story doesn't end; if you do the will of God, you shall abide FOREVER. "And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth." - John 17:3 You don't have to strive and work so hard at your appearance, spending thousands to stay on top of the game. One day you will leave here, and your beauty and possessions won't go with you. Your soul goes with you. Choose to grow your soul and give it what it really wants, eternity with God, FOREVER. Learn more about God's plan for you and the world here and how you can have eternal life through Jesus Christ. Excerpts from The Fountain of Youth blog post-2018

What comes to your mind when you think about sin? Is it the usual blatant sin of homosexuality, lust, murder, or lying? The interactions we have with our neighbors often reveal how sinful our hearts really are. There are many sins that we commit that seem super easy to point out, but what about the ones that are lodged deep in the soul of a person and cause us to harbor hatred towards others and ourselves? I think many women are in the guise of self-hatred today. I'm sure there are many things that go unnoticed about us like having a competitive attitude, jealousy, and coveting. What is Emulation? We probably never think about competition and covetousness as being hatred, we are too focused on creating self-care and self-love regimens. But lodged deep in the heart of any person can reside self-loathing and hateful patterns, many I believe most women suffer from. Galatians 5:19 - 20 is a well-known passage for listing the sins that prevent us from inheriting the Kingdom of God; drunkenness, sexual immorality, divisions, factions, sorcery, hostility, strife, sensuality, idolatry, rage, disputes, revelries, jealousy, and envy... Let's camp out here at jealousy and envy. The King James Version of this verse mentions jealousy and envy as emulations. Emulation is when we try to imitate someone to be like them, an ambition to be similar or exceed their achievements, stemming from a lust to be like them, or a lust to be better, which comes from jealousy. It's an ambitious or envious rivalry. Examples of Emulation Unfortunately, we might be used to seeing the female race compete and rival each other whether that be in looks, achievements, or relationships. Reality television creates this narrative between women, they especially love to pitch friends against each other and sell it to us as entertainment. I believe emulation is subconsciously dominant in many women. We are all born into sin, so at a young age, we covet what another kid has. We perceive that someone is prettier than us and we hate her. It's the human nature of pride that causes us to feel attacked when we lose our sense of control. When we are no longer "that girl", we must kill the one who is so that we can have our throne back. Every human being is sitting on a throne we've erected and it is pride. Everyone longs to be "it"; that thing or person that others covet or envy. It builds our fantasy kingdom and alters our reality that others are beneath us and we are everything they wish they could be. We see girls and women today trying so hard to be something they aren't. Many of us follow celebrities so closely that we imagine ourselves in their shoes and try to imitate their looks and character. I saw a comment on social media about a young lady who said she followed Beyonce so closely that she became obsessed and wanted to be her. Imagine how many young women today are abandoning who God created them to be to become someone they obsessively admire! But maybe this isn't your fight, maybe you have a cousin or sister whom you're jealous of. Maybe she was always praised for doing everything right and perfectly, at least in your eyes, and your life hasn't been so great. So you live in secret competition with her. God is not pleased! In fact, one of the 10 Commandments states in Exodus 20:17, "do not covet your neighbor's house", or anything that belongs to her. In other words, do not desire what someone else has. Everybody has a different lot in life and it will never look identical to the next person. Each person is responsible for what they do with their time on earth and we only waste more of our time with comparisons. How to Overcome Emulations God is not pleased because this is vanity. This behavior only distracts us from becoming holy like Christ and it is unloving! Paul instructs us to "be imitators of Christ" in Ephesians 5:1-2. There is no one we should desire to be more like other than Jesus Christ, He is the One who makes us right with God and gives us peace on earth. Becoming like other people or better only makes us feel good about ourselves for a short while. The Bible tells us to "think of others as better than ourselves" rather than trying to become better than them. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3 Everyone is fighting for a throne in this life and it's easy to lose sight of Who is already on the throne and that's Jesus, sitting on the right hand of God. Why is it always about Him? Because He's perfect and already paid a price for our icky sins that we couldn't pay. No one else on earth has done what He did, so it becomes idolatrous for us to desire other people who are just as faulty as we are. I think it's important to understand where emulations may have developed in your life. Ask yourself these questions: Why do I feel the need to compete with other people? Did something happen in my past that made me feel inferior and broken? What don't I like about myself that causes me to deeply admire others? What do I hate about my situation that causes me to be jealous or want what someone else has? Then I want you to ask yourself: What are 10 things I like about myself? What am I thankful for? What is God calling me to do with my life? What can I ask God for instead of taking it from someone else? What would I accomplish if I had what they had? How would that make me feel? Have You Tried Asking God Instead of Hating Others? The Bible says in James 4:2-3 that we have not because we don't ask, and when we do ask, it's for our own selfishness. God won't give us things because our hearts are not in the right place. Some of us are asking for things because it will inflate our pride, make us feel like we're better than that person, or give us a reason to boast to our "haters". These are not what the blessings of God are for! Our focus should be on God's Kingdom, which means we are doing what He desires for us to do and behaving how His children should. What sums up the entirety of the law? Loving God with all of us and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Matthew 22:36-40. When we are focused on loving God with every fiber of our being, we live for Him alone and we ask according to His will. And in the same way, when we are learning to love our neighbors as ourselves, we treat them right and see them from the proper perspective. Rather than competing and being jealous, we can celebrate our uniqueness and respect them as being created in the likeness of God. And lastly, contentment is a virtue! God is pleased when we are content with what He's given us and content with who we are becoming. "When we desire to emulate the wicked or harbor jealousy, we cannot live in love & humility as God commands." Do you want help getting freedom from jealousy and competition? Sign up for a free coaching session to get biblical advice and prayer!

Within the last few years, there has been a lot of focus on self. Self-love, self-care, selfies, not that there is anything wrong with exploring these areas. But I think as people turn inwardly, they are seeking refuge from the hurt and pain others have caused them. Some, like me, are realizing that our standards were too low and that we've never placed much value on who we are as we do for others. What is self-worth? And how do you measure it? By definition, self-worth is another term for self-esteem. It is a sense of one's own value as a human being. Some measure their value on their accomplishments, academics, relationships, and financial status. Others measure their worth by the opinions and ideas of what others think of them. In fact, studies show that 87% of women compare themselves to images online. This proves that majority of us are measuring our value in some unhealthy ways. In whatever way we choose to measure our worth, I think most of the time it isn't stable enough to help us see ourselves properly. After all, we live in a world that is unstable and always changing. Tomorrow you could lose your job and just like that your financial status has to start over. Your significant other could break up with you and leave you with a broken heart and lost plans. The opinions you value could say that they don't like you anymore and you're not attractive. If you've measured your worth and built your self-esteem on these things, essentially you can lose it all in a moment. But does that mean you lose yourself and that you're no longer important? Never. Your self-worth and esteem should never be determined by the response of others nor should they be based on the way the world turns. Both are extremely unstable and the Bible calls it sinking sand. I don't know if you believe in a higher power, but your worth and value were already determined by God Himself. Jesus says that building your values on Him is like a solid foundation, not sinking sand. This is what God said when He created everything in Genesis, "God looked at everything He had made and said that it was good. And He validated it completely." What does this mean? It means that everything and every person He made is excellent to Him and we are already validated. Validate means to affirm the worth of a person, their opinions, and their feelings. The God of this universe has already approved of you and says you are His and made you the crown of His creation. So as you're thinking about your worth and if you're valuable or not, think about the One who made you. I believe the most important and missing piece to determining your worth is to find out why God put you here. Every human being has dignity and great value to God, but it's up to us how we respond to this truth. To help you understand that solid foundation that Jesus mentioned, I put together a free 5-part course called In His Image that will help you understand God's plan for your life, how He has called you to rule and reign with Him, and what it means for your body to be a temple. This course will give you a boost in your self-worth and hopefully help you see others in a healthier way, too. P.S. Thanks for reading! If you found this helpful, share it to your Facebook friends.

Self-esteem and body image issues are becoming a serious epidemic. I think it has always been swept under the rug for most, but with increased social media usage, it's all coming to the surface. Living with these issues is hell enough for women, but to log in to social media and be triggered constantly--that's an amplified problem many are not ready to face. But how do you know if you have low self-esteem or just a moment of self-consciousness? Most of us will have a day or two when we feel self-conscience or extremely aware of our flaws, however, it becomes a serious issue when a person consistently lives in this state. Below are seven symptoms of low self-esteem that are red flags that you may need a mental health counselor or a coach. You lack confidence in yourself. You live your life unassertive and unsure about what you want out of life. You also don't have the confidence to do the things you want to do because of fear. You're often indecisive about small and large decisions. A person living with low self-esteem might be afraid to make choices for themselves. Oftentimes, they just go with what everyone else wants or suggests. You lack boundaries. You don't have clear, direct boundaries when engaging with others, and people tend to walk over you and control you. You're a people-pleaser. Because you lack boundaries, you please others when they want something from you. You don't see yourself as important so you bow to the throne of others' desires instead of your own. For teens, this could mean giving in to peer pressure to engage in negative activities. You overdress or underdress to hide flaws. Not only do you lack confidence in yourself as a person, but it also shows on the outside. You wear clothes that are too big or baggy, or maybe you wear provocative clothes because you think others will pay more attention to you. You often ask others for their opinions of you and what you should do. Because you don't trust yourself or God, you often look for others to guide you. And their absence and disapproval of you cause you to feel extremely alone and rejected. You look for fulfillment in relationships or careers. People who suffer from low self-esteem may seek outside fulfillment in romantic relationships, friendships, and even their work. They may seem codependent on these relationships to sustain their personal happiness. This list could be a lot longer but if any number of these symptoms are something you currently deal with, do you consistently have these habits or just in certain situations? An effective way to determine if you're living with low self-esteem is to ask those who are close to you if you exhibit a few or all of these traits on a regular basis. Jesus desires to see your freedom from low self-esteem. It's not His will that you live in persistent bondage to feelings and beliefs of unworthiness when He formed you as the crown of His creation. You can't be the person He created you to be if you're held back in fear of who you are and how great He is to you. I encourage you to seek a mental health counselor if you believe low self-esteem is causing you to live in depression, overwhelming sadness, and thoughts that you're not important. If you're in recovery from low self-esteem and you'd like support in reaching your goals and staying free, set up a free coaching call with me to review where you currently stand and where you see yourself in the future and how our partnership can help you reach those goals. Thanks for reading! Click one of the links below to share it with your audience if you deem it helpful information.

Artificial intelligence is the talk of the town in the tech world right now. And not just for tech businesses, but AI is a tool that can transform any industry-- including beauty. There has been recent talk about how AI, or artificial intelligence, has an impact on body image and how it generates "perfect beauty". I also recently shared on my TikTok how filters and augmented reality can add to the negative effects that social media has had on body image and self-esteem. A study done by The Bulimia Project revealed what AI thinks the perfect body is based on social media data. (1) The results are typical and stereotypical, and I'd say it's in alignment with what most people think is the "perfect body". The perfect body is the one we will receive when we go home to the Lord. No one is going to be perfect on this planet, but still, there are millions who aim for this unattainable goal. The results of the AI images came from tools like DALL-E, Midjourney, and Stable Diffusion which generated unreal body types and even discriminated on what perfect beauty is. For instance, most of the images showed a blonde-haired girl and a perfectly muscular white man. Aside from these images, when prompted to generate images of "perfect female bodies", the AI results were of slim and trim women, not taking into account any curvier body types. It's also worth noting that most of the AI-generated images had more sex appeal than just generating regular images. I think that says a lot about the constant information that we put out and the results we're getting back. Because of the carelessness of sexualizing bodies and glorifying one body type, the results are poor mental health in GenZ and Millennial generations, as well as our own technology showing us what we value most. What can be done about this? Thankfully, the Supreme Court is now working on ways to incorporate safer internet usage for our youth, but rather than trusting our government to help, here's what we can do in our personal lives: Limit social media usage - logging out for longer periods of time will boost your peace of mind and productivity Remove harmful content from your entertainment diet Change what you listen to, your music can have a huge effect on your self-image Remember, you're created in the image of God and He has already accepted you as you are. There are a lot of voices telling you who you should be, but our God is the one who is stable and will never change His mind about you. He is the one we should put our trust in and our hope. Thanks for reading! For more practical tips to boost your self-esteem and focus, download our free guide and get access to tools that can help!

First, let me say that I think you're amazing for wanting to help your teen, friend, or student. You obviously recognize that something is seriously bothering them and you're seeking a way to help them overcome their battles. Teens are not alone in their body image struggles. In fact, 73% of teenage girls struggle with body image, and 69% of teen boys. Why do you think that number is so high? Well, everyone has access to a smartphone right in their pockets. And unfortunately, our teens spend the most time on social media. These things aren't bad, however, the content is a main factor in their self-perception. Social media and its algorithms are based on a "numbers game". Humans tend to see numbers as a measure of success or worthiness, and whoever has the most engagement, is most popular on these platforms. That may not always be the reason someone struggles with body image but the data proves that it is a top contribution. Another is bullying, criticism, and low self-esteem. Regardless of its source, body image issues are affecting a lot of people. How can we help them all? We can't ban phones and social media. We can't stop advertisement companies from using stereotypical imagery and we can't stop artists from making misogynistic music. But here's what you can do to help a teenager with body image issues: 1. Find out the source of the body shame & limit the trigger. Ask your teen what is causing them to feel shameful and depressed about their looks. Once you can identify its source, work together to limit the exposure. This may look like taking frequent breaks from social media, setting a curfew, confiscating the smartphone completely, addressing a bully, getting rid of magazine subscriptions, and being less critical of them, etc. This is because it will provide some relief from the negative feelings associated with the trigger and make it easier to address the root cause. Have you ever tried explaining something while you're angry or in pain? It's harder to think and create solutions when emotions are high. So take a rest from the source of pain. 2. Replace the source with healthier options. I want you to think about your environment like you think about food. If your food is making you sick, then you eliminate what's causing it and replace it with healthier options. Your mental health is equally important. Replace the negative music with positive and encouraging songs (this helped me a lot when I started healing), find cleaner shows to watch, and follow social accounts that make you a better person & not just a better-looking person. A shopping spree could also bring some fun to the elimination & replacement process. This can help your teen learn how to take control of their choices. If they can learn that negative choices will lead to negative habits, then this teaches them that positive choices will lead to positive habits. Teaching your teen cause and effect in their personal lives can go a long way into adulthood. You can start by asking them, "How do you want to feel right now?" And help them navigate which options will bring the desired result. 3. Work with a counselor or body image coach to address the mindset, emotions, and habits contributing to body shame. Some things aren't easy to break and could require additional support. A healthy support system can help with accountability and address deeper issues that you may not notice. Many teens develop depression and debilitating anxiety along the way and need professional help to overcome this. I work with teens and young women from ages 13 - 25 years who are struggling to overcome body image and low self-worth. We spend around six months together alone or with a parent to identify the root of the issue, navigate negative thoughts, and implement healthier habits. There is also progress work in between sessions so that as the coach, I can identify poor thought patterns and understand my client's point of view. Sign up for a free consultation with your parent if you're under 18 or alone if you're over 18. Helping a teenager with body image issues can be challenging and can create feelings of hopelessness. You're not alone. These three tips can start your teen on a path to healing and recovery from body image and low self-esteem, and provide strategies to continue navigating the social landscape. Let's talk about it! I'd love to help you begin. Sign up here. References: 73% of teen girls struggle with body image, 69% of teen boys - EverydayHealth Social media content affects self-perception - Modest Movement