Search Results

Body Dysmorphic Disorder affects 1.7 to 2.9% of the general population, that is about 5 to 10 million people in the United States according to the International OCD Foundation. Unfortunately, we are seeing consistent growth in the number of people diagnosed with BDD, and many celebrities have spoken out about their diagnosis. What is the cause of body dysmorphia and why is it affecting more people? Check out my Youtube video below as I discuss Doja Cat's body image issues plus a deeper look into the root causes of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. A short transcript is below the video. Disclaimer: I'm a Dual-Certified Body Image and Self-Esteem Coach and I'm not authorized to medically diagnose any mental illnesses. The purpose of this content is educational only. I can coach you if you have BDD and you'd like to develop a plan of action to overcome this condition. Now, on today's episode, we're going to talk about Doja Cat growing up with body image issues, and dealing with BDD symptoms, and we're going to discuss what I believe the root cause of BDD is. Disclaimer, I am not a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider. If you think you have BDD, seek a professional, I am a Body Image & Self-esteem coach and do not treat mental illness but I can probably help you if you don't need medicine. So, Doja Cat told Cosmopolitan Middle East that she struggled with body image her entire life. She said she had body dysmorphia as a teen because she hated her body and didn't like how she was growing. In the article, she mentioned that she was getting bigger and she thought she didn't look good in any of her outfits. I've known people in my lifetime who felt body shame for being curvy or like me, too skinny. So you become obsessed with not being that way. More recently, we've seen Doja Cat go through some physical changes and I honestly believe she's still dealing with BDD, even if it's undiagnosed. I talked more about my theory of celebrities who struggle with body image, it's in our Megan Fox episode about why I think most celebrities struggle with this. So many eyes are on them, so many comments, so many pictures... it causes you to worry about yourself. Mind.org UK listed common causes and treatments for BDD and it said those who model or are into fitness have a greater risk of being body dysmorphic due to the nature of those industries. I believe it's the same way for celebrities who are often in the spotlight or whose looks are the talk of the town, it can cause you to develop fears of being in the spotlight. Professionals don't know the exact cause of BDD but there are a range of different things that can contribute: ​Abuse or bullying Low self-esteem Fear of being rejected Perfectionism or comparing yourself with others Genetics (I don't think so) Depression, anxiety, or OCD But regardless of how it started, I think the common factor out of all of these is a spirit of fear. When you look at the root word, dysmorphophobia it's a fear of having a deformity. It's the fear of being ugly or abnormal. And the most common reason why people have fears about their looks is because of how other people perceive them. Think about it, if we weren't on the planet with anyone else, would you know you're ugly, fat, deformed, or beautiful? We don't realize what we are unless someone else is present. How would you know if it's wrong unless someone told you or if you saw it "perfect"? Who defines perfect anyway... These are questions to ask yourself. Who's definition am I living for? And what makes my appearance wrong? There's something I want you to understand here. If you live your life based on the subjective view of other people, you're always going to have to change. But if you live from an objective view, the fact that everyone is unique and born to be different... the fact that there isn't one look for everyone... you're living in the freedom of who you are. And keep this in mind, God didn't give us a spirit of fear. He didn't create you to live in this world just to fear what other people say. He created you to be in a close relationship with Him, living for the purpose and calling that He destined for you, in the body He created and called good. "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7 If you want help addressing BDD, and you need a support system, I'm here. Learn about my holistic and biblical methods that can help you. Subscribe to our podcast so that you don't miss the next episodes! References: International OCD Foundation Mind.org

For a good part of my education, I was the only colored person. That’s right, in a school of about 600 kids, I was the only non-white. Over the years, the school began to be populated with people from China, Hong Kong, Singapore, and eventually Indians. But for a decent proportion of the time, I was the only brown person. I didn’t feel the distinction all the time. However, I definitely knew I was different when I would unwrap my roti parcel, and all my friends would have their neat little jam sandwiches with the crust cut off. I didn’t love the looks of repulsion I got when they saw my lunch. Of course, now the tables have well and truly turned, and those kids are probably wishing they hadn’t been so naïve about my homemade Indian cuisine! I should say that I didn’t experience any racism at school. In fact, I was quite included. It was only a few critical moments that would remind me of my difference. Like at lunchtime, as mentioned. Or when I had a crush on a guy. There was a girl in my class who pretty much all the guys liked at some stage. She was blonde. Pretty. Skinny. And she was sporty. Eventually, the infatuation with her subsided. But then, another year or so later, another new girl came along who all the boys became preoccupied with. She was blonde. Pretty. Skinny. And kind of sporty. I was friends with all the guys, and yet none of them ever seemed to like me. Why was that? At some point, I became aware of the obvious physical differences between the girls the guys liked and me… And I was different! Almost the opposite, really…I was brown, with black hair; nobody had told me I was pretty, and by that age, I was already shapely (it wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I realized that wasn’t a bad thing). And forget about sporty. I was a typical creative person. As much as I was friends with everyone, it was very rare for a guy to like me…let alone like me back. So, I guess that’s where the mindset developed. I started to believe that beauty looked a certain way. And though I might try, I would never be a part of that elusive group called “the beautiful people”. That group was special, and I would always be on the outside of that group. I belonged to another group entirely. And I would never be able to change groups. I presumed that life was easier for them. They certainly seemed happier. They were WANTED. Everyone flocked to be around them. Barring a few close friends, the only reason why people wanted to hang out with me was to tell me their problems. Something that God clearly saw when He led me to become a counselor. Of course, over time, God has done much to heal my self-esteem issues and rework my ideas of beauty. But this belief about “the beautiful people” has been pretty hard to break down. A few years ago, in our church, this awesome, Godly couple became fairly prominent. And they typified everything that I associated with “the beautiful people”. I felt like I was in high school all over again! They sincerely challenged my beliefs when they demonstrated that they wanted to be around me! How?? We were in different groups! And groups don’t cross-pollinate, right?! I’m definitely still on a journey with this, but the most significant healing I’ve received in this area has been as a result of my learning in humility. I became really passionate about the subject of humility when I recognized pride in myself during my time as a Pastor. Since then I’ve pursued humility and battled for it. Whilst humility refers to how we behave and respond to both God and man, it also has a lot to do with placement. It pertains not only to what God says about who I am, but how God positions or categorizes me. The weight He gives me, or how He values me, directly impacts where I stand before Him. The process for internally developing the idea of “the beautiful people” group essentially happened the same way. I labeled that group accordingly because I believed they had a different value from everyone else. But when you pursue humility, your classification system changes. It no longer becomes about jocks, nerds, beautiful people, and creatives. Because it’s God's position in your life that now determines where everything else is placed. I am so much less than Him, and yet He values me inherently. He doesn’t keep me out of the categories He inhabits. Rather, He includes me in them, on account of the cross. He calls me holy, righteous, chosen, child of God, an equal in the body of Christ, royal, citizen of Heaven…I could go on. Consequently, I can’t place myself as lower than others, because the cross has determined which group or category I belong to. My old grouping system is invalid. And neither am I higher or more valuable than my brothers and sisters. True humility knows its place and its estimation of self. So, it has been one big journey of trying to eradicate my system and look to God as to how He distinguishes me. "Melanie J. Saward is a published Author and Writer. She wrote the book, 'Ministry Stinks: One Leader's Journey from Despair to Joy'. Follow her on IG: @melj_saward

We might not always realize it, but God can feel the same emotions that we feel. Of course, His emotions and thoughts are holy and high above ours. Being made in His image means we take after Him in many ways. He's the Creator, and we also create. He has authority and gave us authority. He desires a relationship with us, and we desire relationships... among many other characteristics that are similar to God and man. One of them is that He is a jealous God, not the human jealousy that comes from covetousness and hatred. His jealousy is a kind that comes from love and longing for His people. His Name is Jealous One of the 10 Commandments states, "You shall have no other god before Me for I Am a jealous God." - Exodus 20:3 further, "You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about His relationship with you." - Exodus 34:14 The Amplified version says, "for the Lord is a jealous (impassioned) God (demanding what is rightfully and uniquely His--") You are uniquely His and rightfully so once you've given your heart to Him. God's jealousy is a passionate commitment, similar to and symbolized often by that of a husband to an unfaithful wife. So no, He doesn't approve when we seek to please the world more than we seek to please Him. He is jealous when we try to flaunt our sex appeal to a depraved and obsessed world. He is jealous when we entertain the lusts of our flesh and disregard the Holy Spirit. Not because of envy, God envies no one, but because He loves us with a fierce love. Love does what's best for you. God Is Jealous Like a Husband I am reminded of a situation in Hollywood between Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. Kim spent eight months perfecting her look for the MET Gala in 2019. Kanye West stated that his wife's dress was "too sexy" and revealing. If you didn't already know, Kanye had professed faith in Jesus Christ, so he no longer had the same mind and perspective on his wife's sex appeal. He wanted Kim to dress modestly. This is how God's jealousy is for us. We are precious to Him, and He will protect us like a husband would a wife. Jesus Christ gave His life for the Church, which is His bride. A bride who is to be found faithful, pure, and unblemished upon His return for her. Are you being faithful, pure, and unblemished? Or are you too concerned about giving the world a good picture? Your makeup is flawless for the gram, but what about your walk with God? He is fiercely passionate about you remaining His. I love what 2 Corinthians 11:2-3 says, "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy because I have promised you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. But I am afraid that even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, your minds may be corrupted and led away from the simplicity of (your sincere) and pure devotion to Christ." This world, ruled by the devil, comes with many tricks and illusions of happiness, so many distractions lead us astray. I take comfort in the fact that God can get jealous because I realize His jealousy is a passionate love that protects me and keeps my heart set on our relationship. It's not to take anything away from us but to bring us closer to what we've always needed, and that's His love that frees us from the grips and pains of sin. The closer we get to God, the more we become jealous and fierce in our pursuit of Him. Do you have a desire to know God's plan for your life? Learn more about His grace and love for you .

Beauty standards have been around us for centuries. In each era, we are constantly pushed with the newest product or procedure to help you "fix" your body. Who said there was anything wrong with it? With the constant social media imagery, advertising, and celebrity culture, it's easy to feel like God made a mistake with your body. In this post, we'll explore three powerful ways you can overcome toxic beauty standards and embrace your true beauty in Christ. But first, if you're looking for support with healing body shame, we created a free email series with 4 actionable steps you can implement this week. Join us if you'd like! 4 Steps to Heal Body Shame What are Toxic Beauty Standards? Toxic beauty standards are unrealistic and harmful beauty ideals that we see advertised in media and society. Studies show that the effects of toxic beauty standards have caused extreme dieting, eating disorders, declines in mental health, and even breakdowns in relationships. They show up in many different aspects such as culture, race, business, and even religious spaces. Some that you may be familiar with are: Size 2 and 5'8" model requirements in the fashion industry The glorification of thinner waists and bigger butts in the Black and Hispanic cultures Emphasis on larger boobs for blondes and White women Popularity of the hourglass shape And these are just a few we may all be familiar with throughout our lifetime that are still being glamourized today in music, media, and advertising. How did they form? Some have formed based on business needs, such as the modeling industry. Most fashion designers prefer thin and taller women to model their clothing. Another example would be the adult entertainment industry requiring certain body types for adult films. Some toxic beauty standards are formed by the wide promotion of common preferences and opinions like that of black women having larger bottoms and this being heavily promoted through music. Although this is a common thing in our society, how can you overcome toxic beauty and embrace the woman God made you to be? Cut it Off The Bible tells us in Matthew 18:9, " And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." This verse isn't saying to cut out your eye for real but to remove the source of temptation. If toxic beauty standards tempt you to be insecure, jealous, envious, or hateful towards anyone, it's time to remove them from your eyesight. What does this look like? Unfollowing, unsubscribing, restricting, or throwing the whole social media away! I had a client who had to do this. She deleted her old Instagram account to start a new one without following anyone. It was necessary so she could focus on what God was doing in her life and no one else's. Repent and Expose the Lies After you have removed the source of your temptation, prepare your mind to be renewed by repenting to God for any negative behaviors you've picked up along the way. This looks like asking God to forgive you for any jealousy, envy, hatred, or comparison that has poisoned your relationship with God, yourself, and your neighbors. Take note of the lies you've believed that caused you to deviate from God's plans. Lies like, "I'm not good enough without this. No one likes me when I look like that. I need to change this body part so I can feel better. Why did God make me like this?" You Must Renew Your Mind I talk a lot about mindset because renewing your mind is the most important step. After you've cut off your source of temptation, you've exposed the lies of the enemy, you now have room to change your mind. The beautiful thing about repentance is God gives you a clean slate to start fresh. Take the lies of the enemy and seek God's truth to replace them. Meditate consistently on His truths about your body, study them, and make His word your daily bread. There won't be any room for lies when God's truth is your daily nutrition. Do Not Be Conformed Any Longer My favorite scripture Romans 12:2 in the Amplified Version reads, " And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you]." Do not copy these superficial, toxic beauty standards. But focus on changing your mind and maturing spiritually so that you know God's will. When you know His will, you will be transformed into the beautiful woman He designed you to become. Need more support? You should join our free email series, Heal Body Shame. You will get 4 short videos under 3 minutes diving deeper into this method. Journaling promotes self-reflection and shifts in perspective.

Have you ever wondered what the Creator of the Universe thinks about little ol' you? Obviously, yes, if you landed here. I'm a Body Image and Self-Esteem Coach, and I'll be candid: I believe every single one of us wonders more about what other people think of us. Focusing too much on others' opinions can be the biggest obstacle to fulfilling your purpose. However, the thoughts God has about you are more significant and liberating. Start your journey to healing this week! Understanding God's Thoughts A Quick Study of Psalm 139:17-18 "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!" (NLT) What stood out to you in these verses? For me, it's the first few words, "How precious are your thoughts." The word "precious" in Hebrew is  yaqar , meaning rare, valuable, heavy, or esteemed. How rare, heavy, valuable, and esteemed are God's thoughts about you! The second thing that stood out to me is that God's thoughts cannot be numbered or counted. They outnumber the grains of sand! Did you know that scientists don't know how much sand is on a single beach? It's impossible to count because of how vast it is. They use calculated guesses! We can't even guess how many thoughts God is thinking about a single person, let alone how much sand is on a single beach. Are God's Thoughts Precious to You? As a body image and self-esteem coach, a common denominator I see in potential clients is that the thoughts of others are their biggest problem. The anxiety, insecurity, and fears are usually due to how they're being perceived. While there is a part of you that should care, it shouldn't be the motivation for your life purpose. I'd like to ask every client who struggles with opinions, "Are God's thoughts precious to you?" Remember what precious means in Hebrew: valuable, esteemed, heavy, rare. It seems that other people's opinions are often held in higher regard and value, which can obstruct God's calling in your life. For some reason, what God says is forgotten when other people are speaking. Well, if you've forgotten the precious word of God, let's go back. So, How Does God Think of Me? God's word, the Bible, is filled with His thoughts, plans, purposes, and desires for human life. Here are some thoughts He thinks about you that you probably know by heart: "'For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" (Jeremiah 29:11) "'Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.'" (Isaiah 41:10) "'You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.'" (Song of Songs 4:7) "'For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.'" (Ephesians 2:10) I realized something while reading these scriptures: all of God's thoughts about you personally aren't even written in the Bible! Consider this—no one truly knows what God thinks about your life specifically, except for God. Psalm 139:18 tells us that His thoughts cannot be numbered. The Bible is a numbered canon, so His thoughts just cannot be fully searched! Wow, I am mindblown and thankful I wrote this today. I pray it's blessing you, too. Discovering God's Thoughts How often are you reading and studying God's word? As you spend time getting to know God more, the eyes of your understanding will be opened. You will begin to hear His voice and, as a result, discover more of His thoughts about you. What God is thinking about each of you is personal, intimate, and freeing. Do you need help learning how to study God's word? Join our discipleship classes live or take our self-paced bible study! We'd love to meet you and walk with you on this journey. Here's a pic for your socials if you want to share :) Embracing Your Worth The Importance of Self-Reflection Have you taken a moment to reflect on your self-worth? It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life and forget how valuable you truly are. Self-reflection is a powerful tool. It allows us to pause and consider our thoughts and feelings. When we take time to reflect, we can recognize the negative thoughts that creep in. These thoughts can distort our view of ourselves. They can make us feel less than we are. But remember, you are a creation of God, and that alone gives you immense value. Surrounding Yourself with Positivity Who do you surround yourself with? The people in our lives can greatly influence how we see ourselves. It's essential to be around those who uplift and encourage you. Seek out friendships that remind you of your worth. When you have a support system that reflects God's love, it becomes easier to embrace your identity. You start to see yourself through a lens of grace and acceptance. Practicing Gratitude Gratitude is another powerful practice. When we focus on what we have rather than what we lack, our perspective shifts. Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things you appreciate about yourself each day. This simple act can help reinforce a positive self-image. Seeking God's Guidance In moments of doubt, turn to prayer. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you. His perspective is the ultimate truth. He loves you unconditionally and desires for you to understand your worth. Conclusion: Your Journey to Self-Acceptance Remember, the journey to self-acceptance is ongoing. It's okay to have ups and downs. What matters is that you keep moving forward. Embrace God's thoughts about you. They are precious, and they are meant to guide you. You are worthy. You are loved. And you are not alone on this journey. Let's continue to seek God's truth together.

The short answer is yes, but there's more to it. Exercise is one of those things I highly recommend for overall well-being and self-improvement. Numerous studies have shown that engaging in physical activity has a profound impact on both mental and physical health. Just 30 minutes of exercise per day can significantly boost your mood, leading to a greater sense of happiness and contentment. But can it specifically improve body image, or is there more to it than workout routines? Struggling with body shame? Take 4 steps to heal this week How does exercise affect body image? Regular workout routines have a multifaceted effect on body image. It helps you appreciate body function over your flaws Reduces stress and anxiety to improve mood It gives you a sense of accomplishment, which improves self-esteem The flaws you once perceived begin to look better Studies show that daily exercise is a quick way to see improvements in your body image, whether or not there are physical changes. It's a great way to work towards a positive self-image while boosting overall health. But, is exercise all you need to do? Sometimes exercise is not the only answer to body image issues. You may reach a point in your fitness journey and realize you still struggle with comparison, self-consciousness, and insecurity. While exercise can mostly improve visible body image flaws, it won't always improve your mental health. You can feel good about yourself the day of your routine, and the next day, you're overly critical about your appearance. That's because physical routines can't solve spiritual and mental battles. Positive body image starts with your mind What negative thoughts do you think every day about your body? And what situation caused you to start the pattern of negative thinking about your body? Answering these two questions can help you identify the root, pluck it up, and plant a new seed. Something I've noticed in the body image and self-esteem industry is that we are good at covering up what we really think inside. We use makeup, workout routines, and even photoshoots to create the appearance of being better when we really don't feel any better. As a coach, I challenge you to start addressing your thinking about your body as you exercise. When you log your calories and routines, try to also journal your thoughts. Question them, ask yourself why that thought or statement is there. Slowly, your negative thought patterns will lose their power. Ready to begin? I created 4 Steps to Heal Body Shame to help you address those negative thought patterns about your body and self-image. In 4 days, you'll have questions and root patterns to dig up, and the opportunity for ongoing support from a coach. " It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life." - John 6:63

The other day, a friend of mine posted on her Instagram story about the amount of exercise necessary to burn off a café-made avocado on toast. My immediate internal dialogue was: “ Are you serious? Thanks for ruining the one meal I can have at a café! ” If she had said the bacon and eggs, I would’ve thought, “I thought so. That’s why I have avocado on toast. Winning!” But no, she had to go after good old safe avocado on toast. Now, what am I going to do?! Eat muesli at a café? I can eat that at home. The café version is not any better, and it's three times more expensive. See, for those of us who have a less-than-positive relationship with food, you get my frustration. All my life, I have been developing a master list of sorts that contains every food declared bad. It’s a long list! I first started developing it at three years of age, and of course, it had the obvious offenders: Chocolate Lollies Chips Soft Drinks Chips McDonald's But as time has gone on, the list has exploded with things I never thought (as a child), would be worthy of exclusion: Some fruits Milk Nightshades Corn Bread Pasta Red Meat All sugars Some salads (actually most that are bought) Avocado on toast (thanks, friend!) Add to this list known food intolerances (beans) that I accrued in the last five years, and there ends up being very little that I can legitimately eat. So, what do I do? I essentially have two choices: Incessantly obsess over meals and control every morsel Have constant guilt about the foods I just consumed Ok, I am exaggerating a little. It’s not so bad anymore. I’ve grown up a lot, and my energy is occupied with other matters. But the list still exists. It just takes a lot more for the guilt to penetrate (because I don’t have the time to be at the necessary level of obsession to get a perfect scorecard on my eating habits) and for it to be lodged deep enough to make a difference. Although, at times it does have a cumulative effect. I’ve often thought that based on how I eat and the little willpower I seem to have in the face of food….that I just LOVE food. Certainly, with my overweight size, others would assume as such. 😕 But it’s quite the opposite: I kind of HATE food. This probably explains why as a teenager, I went through seasons where I just wouldn’t eat. I am grateful that it didn’t become a persistent pattern of behavior, which I in no way account for any strength in myself. That’s probably just another testimony to God’s surprising grace that makes an appearance frequently throughout my life history – mostly without my awareness. But I genuinely think I’ve HATED food. Because I couldn’t eat almost anything with peace in my heart. Everything I ate would inevitably contribute to my self-condemnation. I’ve had to think about this a lot as a parent. A lot of my friends are painstakingly persistent in making sure that their kids eat healthily. And I applaud them for it because they are genuinely concerned about the health of their kids, not because of body image. That is not at all how my list developed. For me, and with my default behaviors, my efforts are focused on ensuring that my daughter has a healthy relationship with food where she doesn’t deem ANYTHING as ultimately good or bad. She’s allowed to have chocolate, and she knows that it’s only unhealthy if it is in excess. At this age, I can decide what moderation is, and I retract the chocolate at the right time. But she certainly doesn’t see chocolate as bad. And I am going to keep encouraging this mindset for as long as I possibly can. I’m trying to embrace a completely different way of thinking about food: Food is neither good nor bad. Food is fuel. There are certainly better fuels than others; just ask a mechanic. But Jesus Himself declared all foods as clean ( Mark 7:18 ). Now, He meant that the things we consumed did not contribute to the cleanliness of the soul. So, it’s not quite the same thing. But it does reassure me that food is not supposed to have some kind of impact on the value I place on myself. This is why the good and bad list was developed in the first place. I was using it to make judgments on myself and brutally scrutinize the one thing that stood between me and a healthy body image. Food is not supposed to determine our holiness or purity. It appears, at least scripturally, to give more attention to how food is consumed than what exactly enters the mouth (to a degree, of course). 1 Timothy 4:4 says, “For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving” . This verse makes me aware of the fact that there is still a lot of food that I don’t feel thankful for. Not because they are inherently bad, but because they still represent something ‘bad’ to me. Like the potential loss of love. Or rejection on account of my appearance. But at least I have a vision! I know that I will have truly healed from all body image issues when I wake up one day and realize that I am emphatically joyful and thankful for every food God has provided to me for my nourishment. I have a way to go, but I’m trying. Are you struggling with body shame and guilt? Join our free series called Heal Body Shame . You will get 4 short and impactful videos to help you address body shame and more support to overcome and be confident in who God designed you to be. This post was brought to you by Melanie J. Saward, a published author and ministry leader from Australia. She is the author of three books, podcast host of The Pink Elephant, and a mom and wife. Connect with Melanie: Instagram | Website

How should Christians respond to the body positivity and body image movement? How do we deal with our struggles with these issues? Many Christian women may feel there isn't a place to care about their bodies. Doesn't the Bible tell us that our life is more than our body? But this doesn't erase the negative feelings we have about the body that God has made. Skip to read: What is our body made for? You are created in God's image How you see yourself is important How you dress reflects God's image But what if I don't feel good enough? Christian women suffering with identity First, let's thank God that He cares and knows our frame. He isn't a God who shuns our struggles, but He willingly comes to walk with us through them. He cares about every woman and teen who is struggling with self-perception and self-worth. How do I know this? He helped me overcome years of low self-esteem and body image issues. And He gave human beings their worth and value, and He crowned them all as the crown of His creation. "Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor." - Psalm 8:5 God is not indifferent to us; after all, He did come in the form of a human being, taking on the form of our frailty through Jesus Christ our Lord. So let's settle it in our minds that He does care, according to 1 Peter 5:7 . What Is Our Body Made For? The Bible is clear about what our bodies are made for. Our bodies are for the glory of God. "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:20 Glory means high renown or honor, magnificence and great beauty, the splendor and bliss of heaven; praise worship and thanksgiving to a deity. We are made to honor, worship, and praise God with our bodies. What does this look like? It looks like taking care of our bodies in health and fitness (1 Cor. 3:16-17), working as unto the Lord (Col. 3:23), submitting ourselves to God's will daily (James 4:7), and keeping our bodies free from sin and uncleanness (Romans 6:13). It is also worth noting that we are made to give God pleasure. He delights in us when we worship and honor Him with everything that we are, and in return, He gives us all of His goodness. 'Moses said, “Please show me your glory.” And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.”- Exodus 33:18-20 You Are Created in God's Image Christians should care about their body image because God created us in His image first. Your body carries the fingerprints of God and this holds great significance in how you live in your body. Learn how you're created in God's image Although we don't keep our physical bodies, we are living in them now, and there's a certain way we handle our image as believers. It is the way you are identified, it reveals your self-perception, and it also affects the way others perceive you. In fact, your self-perception will determine how you care for God's image and how you shine the light of Christ in the world. How You See Yourself Is Important How you see yourself matters! Self-perception is similar to self-awareness, and the Bible encourages it. Having the right view of God helps you have the right view of yourself and, ultimately, the right view of your neighbor. It is usually pride that causes us to focus on our bodies too much because we might care about how others see us. If your thoughts are, "Do they think I look good?" Then your heart is in the wrong place. Our thoughts should be, " Is God pleased with me?" God is our Righteous Judge, and He says that He doesn't judge appearances, but He looks upon the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 How a woman sees herself will show in how she carries herself. Women who are nonbelievers will have a sinful view of their bodies, and the fruits of this are seen everywhere. Scrolling on social media for a few minutes, you will most likely run into someone half-naked or completely naked these days. The sinful nature only does what the flesh craves, and that's attention, self-gratification, and personal glory. If you are a Christian and you follow the impulses of your body, then you must seek freedom from this pattern immediately, or you risk being separated from the Lord. You must renew your mind in God's truth (Romans 12:1-2) and kill the deeds of your flesh. "for if you are living according to the [impulses of the] flesh, you are going to die. But if [you are living] by the [power of the Holy] Spirit you are habitually putting to death the sinful deeds of the body, you will [really] live forever." - Romans 8:13 AMP How You Dress Reflects God's Image If we apply the scriptures, we can see that they perfectly balance our love and devotion to God and our love for our neighbors (society). How we show up in the world is essential for any person and especially believers. Some people like to refute arguments about how our fashion choices shouldn't affect the next person. But just as there are reasons why businesses have dress code signs and policies in their employee handbook, the Church has a policy and it is modesty. "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." 1 Timothy 2:9-10 Everything we do represents the Kingdom of Heaven, and society has seen the Church misrepresent itself in astounding ways. Christians should not be the ones creating stumbling blocks for others by compromising God's truths. In fact, modesty isn't just how you dress ; it's also a heart posture. A synonym for modesty is humility , which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. And then there is the topic of "toxic purity culture". While I agree that teachers from the pulpit have misconstrued the message of modesty by applying emphasis and accountability on women rather than men, God's word still applies to us. It's okay to disagree with your leaders, but to disagree with God's word is dangerous and disobedient. But What If I Don't Feel Good Enough? Many women just don't feel good enough or worthy. Well, let me ask you, what or who are you trying to be good enough for? If we know that God doesn't judge by appearances to be worthy of your calling, then in what aspect are you not good enough? I am not trying to minimize your feelings, you have reasons for coming to this thought pattern. But I wanted to settle that God doesn't disregard you if you don't look the part. He rejected King David's brothers from being king, and Samuel thought they had perfect looks. 1 Samuel 16:7 . So please, don't think you have to be an Instagram model to accomplish the work of the Lord. A common way that many women don't feel good enough is because they are measuring themselves by the world standard of beauty. Statistics show that 87% of women compare themselves to images online and comparison can influence how you treat your body. If we are forcing ourselves into extensive fitness programs and chasing the latest diet pill because we don't measure up to world standards, then we are falling short of the glory of God. In the above passage, we learned that our bodies are for God's glory, meaning our bodies are for His worship. We fall short of that worship when we are seeking personal glory for ourselves based on how we measure up to society. Your eyes are no longer on adoring the Father but on adorning yourself so that you can prove your worth to a world that won't care tomorrow. This is the issue of pride deep in the heart, we are worrying about how others perceive us and if we're acceptable. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every weight and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author, and perfecter of our faith..." - Hebrews 12:2 This is a heavy weight to carry and a sin that easily entangles women who spend a lot of time coveting and comparing looks. Again, I'm not sure what exactly your struggle is, but I at least wanted to point out the two major reasons why women don't feel worthy. Take a deep dive to overcome compairson Christian Women Suffer from Body Image & Low Self-Esteem, Too Your self-worth is basically self-esteem, and your body image does have an effect on the value you place upon yourself. If you have depression associated with low self-esteem and body image, then you deserve help and healing, too. At the beginning of this post, we learned that God does care and is concerned with every area of your life. Maybe you have experienced a combination of all of these areas I've described, and you're tired of dealing with them alone. You're not alone! I've had my share of all of these experiences in my own self-esteem struggles. But are you ready to finally break free from body shame and low self-esteem? Are you ready to transform your thinking and be bold in worshiping God with your body? Then you should take one of our free courses , or you can speak with me directly if you'd like a private accountability partner . Our call is on the house 😌 If you found this helpful, give us a 5-star rating below and share it on social media with your best friends. I look forward to connecting with you!

Music has always had a big influence on society. Do you remember in elementary school how easy it was to learn if you sang a song? This method of learning hasn't changed. If we aren't careful, music can become the biggest influence on our thinking, our beliefs, and ultimately our behavior. Let's look at the trend, " bad and boujee ", a song created by Migos, and how it contrasts with God's design for womanhood. Is this trend God's design for womanhood? For humanity? Why do we live by these standards that only seem to lower the culture? I know people like to say, " OMG, it's just music. I like the beat anyway." HERE'S A THOUGHT: GET THE INSTRUMENTAL!!! Words become us . We only seem to understand this when it comes to reaching success. Our words have effects on every area of life. We don't even know what we're really saying when we repeat these words and caption ourselves with them. You could be summoning a ritual for Pete's sake, lol, or inviting demons into your mind. The more we see hatred in our society, the more we should evaluate what comes in and what goes out. It's not just the news we should be worried about; it's our everyday hobbies, friends, and activities around us that we should worry most about. Jesus tells us, "It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth." - Matthew 15:11. This includes who we choose to listen to and surround ourselves with. As women, as humanity, we are easily deceived without the Spirit guiding us. Did you know Satan was the angel of music when he was in Heaven? Now that he is here on Earth, gosh, it's no wonder such trash talk is called "music" today. ( see Ezekiel 28:13-16 ) So, what and where does the word "boujee" come from? It has a French Mid-16th century origin. The funny thing is...people perceived this word to mean "higher-class" or "wealthy" when actually it is a word for the "middle-class" who conform to the same behavior patterns. People with the least amount of money seem to be the most materialistic because they want to be seen as "wealthy". So over time, you get the modern word "boujee" out of the French word "bourgeois".  I took Latin and Etymology in school, so it actually has come in handy lol. I'm someone who cares what others think of themselves, so the background and origin of words today are important, as they seem to take on different meanings that can be dangerous!  How does "bad and boujee" contrast with God's design? Don't get me wrong, we are not talking about the pride associated with having self-esteem or dignity in one's work/achievements... that is good. But pride as in, "the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one's importance. (arrogant, vanity, conceit, snobbery, haughtiness, big-headed) You are important in the sense that your life matters, but you are not that important over others to think you are better or higher. We are all human beings, like flowers that bloom today and are gone tomorrow. (Psalms 103:15-16) We all hate when people look down on us, yet the people behind the media encourage this attitude; just listen to their words and quality. How are they influencing our culture? God is against haughtiness. "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6. Pride is actually one of the seven deadly sins that God hates, listed in Proverbs 6:17. Now, He doesn't hate us, but He hates the conditions of our heart and soul because it separates us from Him. Pride will lead Him to resisting you and your advances in life. Who wants to come against the God of Heaven and Earth?! There are over 50 Bible verses about pride and the results of it. Why is pride such an issue? It rejects God's power and the influence of others around you. Pride says, "I'm the only one of importance, I can do it all without you!" QUESTION: Who put you on an island all by yourself? You were born into a world with at LEAST 7 billion people, and the first relationship on Earth was between God and man. ( see Genesis 1 ) Second comes the relationship between man and woman. When was life ever just about YOU?! So, why not Beautiful and Humble? "A woman who cares more about who she's becoming than how she's looking will seek to be humble." What's wrong with these traits? Sis, these are far more precious than the diamonds in your ears and belly button; these traits are what set you apart from being stereotyped as "basic" and "superficial". These are the characteristics of God that He says are more precious than rubies! (Proverbs 31:10) So rare to find in women today! The Definition of Humble 1. having or showing a MODEST or low estimate of one's own importance. (meek, respectful, submissive) ANTONYMS: PROUD, overbearing. No wonder our men are going crazy lol, we often have "overbearing" attitudes. The world wants us to be EXTRA! Honestly, this is a headache for both you and your man, and definitely not wife material. The Lord blesses humbleness. (James 4:6, Psalms 10:17) We have to be careful with how we think or position ourselves. If we are proud and big-headed, God will see to it that in the same way you judge others, it will be measured back to you. (Matthew 7:2, Proverbs 29:23) But if we humble ourselves, God will exalt us in due time. See, we don't have to fight for the stage or the floor...God will lift you Himself! (James 4:10, 1 Peter 5:6) Humble doesn't mean you put yourself down; it means you also look out for others' interests more than just focusing on yourself. ( Philippians 2:4) LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. (Mark 12:31) Hi! Thanks so much for reading this blog post. I pray it helps you see yourself through God's filter and encourages you to do away with the world's view of you. God loves you soooo much, and He only wants to help you live a victorious life where you actually know that you are worth it! It seems women have never felt good enough. Could it be because we always look to man for validation? We are on a constant "soul search," and your soul knows what it wants, and that is Jesus Christ. He died for you, to forgive you of your sins and to give you a new life. If you would like to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and you need help walking this decision out, head over here to discover your identity.

Sexual objectification dominates our culture. It's in our ads, our music, our TV shows, our books, and then we see it on our timelines, feeds, DMs, and behaviors. All I can think about is our youth. Our little girls are growing up in this noisy and bold era of sex and power. If we don't teach them the Bible way, then the world will teach them the corrupt way. The messages in our music today are beyond degrading, and it's been this way since the early 2000s. Of course, there were questionable messages scores ago, but it really had to be discerned. Today, it seems like nothing is censored for decency's sake and respect. This is not a post to bash these beautiful women, but I will say it is a disappointment to see our female influencers continuing the streak of misogyny and sexual objectification in music today. We already deal with this from the males in media and Hip-Hop culture, to see women join them instead of fighting back is upsetting. When the world goes in one direction, who will step out and say, "Nah, this isn't the way things should be"? We are living in perilous times where "evil is called good and good is called evil". We are living in times where it is "traditional" or old school to be a wife who cooks, cleans, and submits to her husband, yet the sexual, materialistic, domineering woman is to be praised and rewarded. I understand the mindset that says, "Well, since the men can do it, we should be able to as well." But what about the mindset that says, "We are sick of how we are being portrayed, and instead of joining them, let's change the narrative"? Why not show young women who look up to us that they are more than their bodies? Why is that so wrong? Because the times are evil, and people value the wanton and immoral freedom more than God's beautiful design for humanity. It's not like God came out of the sky and took our freedom from us; we have free-will and a right to choose our lifestyles. We all know by now that choosing a certain lifestyle produces negative or positive results. Our world is upside down because of this wanton and immoral freedom: abortions are tearing women and babies apart, the sex trade is hyper-funded, low self-esteem is plaguing our teens, children are having sex younger, and more heartbreaking statistics because of this defiance. You may ask, what does music have to do with this? It is an influence on our culture. The more these messages are sung to us, the more we catch on to the rhythm and move in their direction. So maybe they won't change the narrative, because they make too much money and are praised for what they do... but we can change it. We can start by telling young women around us that the acronym is, We Are Pure And God loved us so much that He gave His Son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have eternal life (John 3:16). We can start by telling them there is a better way of freedom than what this world is selling them. The world's freedom leads to chains and unfathomable pain, but God's freedom leads to abundant life and peace. God's freedom leads to healthy relationships, restored self-worth, and self-esteem, and a pure view of sex and marriage. It may seem popular to do it the way Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion are showing you, but please know that it's not as good as it looks. The Bible says, "The broad way leads to destruction, but the narrow way leads to life. "(Matthew 7:13-14) It does not end well to follow the way that everyone goes, sis. I want to invite you to learn more about the narrow way that leads to life and abundance in Christ . And if this post helped you in any way, please use the share button below! Shout out to ImKai for this dope remix of W.A.P. Give it a listen and subscribe to her channel!

Listen to the blog instead: 3min Even the healthiest and most beautiful people struggle with insecurities especially when we are living in the social media era where perfection is glorified and humiliation comes easily. As believers, how do we biblically overcome insecurity? It takes more than just repeating nice quotes to yourself, Jesus offers us stronger solutions. What Is Insecurity in the Bible? Insecurity by definition is the uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. Biblically, insecurity is fear. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind." Fear in Greek is the word deilia meaning cowardice or timidity. Timidity is a synonym of insecurity. Insecurity happens when you experience something that causes self-doubt, anxiety, and fear. It's similar to the "fight or flight" emotion that throws your body into a panic. Emotionally, you feel threatened by something. For example, you could feel threatened when you see your friends dressed up better than you, when someone praises another person for their accomplishments, or when you see images online of superfit models. These situations and others can all trigger insecurity in your mind because you don't feel good enough about yourself. Insecurity is being afraid that you don't measure up. Because you have fear about yourself, it robs you of power, a sound mind, and love for other people. Your mind will be filled with intrusive thoughts and lies from the enemy, which weakens your ability to operate in the power of the Holy Spirit, which then causes you to be fruitless and carnal. Instead of bold confidence and sharing God's love with others, you're comparing yourself, you're competitive, and might even be jealous. Although this is a natural occurrence when you feel this emotion, spiritually it is an attack against your faith and your identity. Who Told You You Were Naked? Here's a profound truth I heard on Instagram by @iamgracestone. After Adam and Eve sinned, they saw themselves as a shameful disgrace and decided to hide themselves. When God found them, He asked, "Who told you you were naked?" In other words, who told you you were too skinny, too fat, too this, and too that? What situation made you feel ashamed and caused you to hide who you are? The words and influences of others can make us feel inadequate which creates fear and anxiety about ourselves. Remember what God destined for Adam and Eve, they were people who had dominion on earth and fellowship with God, they were unashamed of their true form. Until the enemy planted doubt in their minds and they followed through on it. If only they held on to what God already affirmed about them and what they should do, it would've been a different story. How does this relate to you? What identity in Christ have you stepped down from to believe the lies of the devil? But God always has a plan to get us back on track. 3 Steps to Overcome Insecurity To overcome insecurity, you should identify what are the circumstances that caused them. You wouldn't feel threatened or fearful unless something made you feel unsafe. It may be painful, but take inventory of those situations or words that made you feel unworthy or unsafe. Maybe you're always getting cheated on and you're unsure of yourself now. Whatever it is, be self-aware about it. It's time to put a stop to those things. Once you have the inventory of what caused your insecurities, figure out what is happening now that continues to trigger them. This helps you develop awareness of yourself and your surroundings so that you can form a plan of action. It could be intrusive thoughts, social media, wrong relationships, music, figure out what's constantly triggering fear. Repent for allowing these circumstances to put a spirit of fear in you. The Bible says God did not give you this spirit, so you must repent for allowing it to have access to you. Once you repent, you are free to turn in a new direction. Walk in the truth of God's word by studying and praying the scriptures into your heart and mind. The Bible says, "The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but they are mighty through God to pulling down strongholds." - 2 Corinthians 10:4 Next Steps It's worth noting that step number 3 is a consistent strategy for engaging in spiritual warfare and winning your battles. But you aren't doing this alone. You have access through God's Holy Spirit to help you get the victory and become a healthier version of yourself. You also have the Body of Christ to support you in walking out your faith and keeping you accountable for spiritual growth. That's why I created the free Bold & Beautiful Course: Overcome Insecurity and the Fear of Opinions . In this course you will learn: where insecurity comes from and how to break up with it how to overcome your fear of people and their opinions what insecurity reveals about your needs and desires my practical tool to help you take control of your thoughts plus bonus content It's all free so get in now and start getting victory over insecurity and fear of people. If this was helpful, rate and comment below and share on your Facebook.

Struggling with insecurity happens to everyone at some point, whether you're struggling with body image, self-esteem, or confidence. Here are 6 bible verses about insecurity that will help you renew your mind so that you become secure in God and in who He made you to be. Don't forget to download your bonus scriptures and sign up for our Overcome Insecurities course . Proverbs 29:25 AMP " The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in and puts his confidence in the Lord will be exalted and safe." The definition of insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; a lack of confidence. The second definition is the state of being open to danger or threat; a lack of protection. Insecurity is rooted in fear and worry about yourself which is not a state of mind God desires for you. Most times we fear how we're perceived by others and the Bible says this is a trap. Fear sits at the root of many mental illnesses and character flaws. These fears trap you in codependency, obsessive-compulsive disorders (OCD), people-pleasing, and low self-worth. But those who trust in the Lord will be safe and lifted. Song of Solomon 4:7 AMP "O, my love, you are altogether beautiful and fair. There is no flaw nor blemish in you!" The Song of Solomon is a book of love poetry about fiances getting married. It's a picture of God's love for His church. In the Old and New Testaments, we learn that the church is the Bride of Christ. So as the bride of Christ, God doesn't see any flaws in you! The blood of Jesus makes you clean from all sin and flaws you think you may have. Psalm 139:14 AMP " I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well." The word fearfully in this scripture means astonishment, awe, a wonderful and glorious thing. When God formed you, it was an astonishing and glorious moment. But it would be best if you didn't rave at the fact that your creation and birth were so amazing. The most important point of Psalm 139 is God's omnipresence and omniscience. When the focus is on God's greatness, your flaws become very small in comparison! Spending time learning about God's character, attributes, and love for humanity will crush the fears that you have about yourself because all of your hope and trust will be in His eternal power. Philippians 4:8 AMP " Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]." Feelings of insecurity come from your thoughts. You are thinking about things that cause you to feel insecure, afraid, and worried. In this scripture, Paul encourages you to think about the good in every situation and think about what is positive. If you're feeling insecure about your looks, think about what is good about your body. The key is to think continually about the good so that your brain learns how to be more positive instead of negative. Ephesians 2:10 ERV " God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us new people so that we would spend our lives doing the good things he had already planned for us to do." God called you to do good works on earth. But it's impossible to do when you live in a state of fear. The person you are is the person He is calling. You don't need to look better to step out on faith. You don't even have to feel better, you just have to trust God and believe that He can help you. 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP " For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or  cowardice or  fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and  personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind, and self-control]." As mentioned in Scripture number one, insecurities come from fear. Fear is a spirit that God did not give us. Your fear of who you are, what you look like, or fears about life did not come from Him. Fear came into your life when someone rejected you, said mean things about you, or some traumatic experience happened. As long as you struggle with insecurity, you will lack peace. This scripture says God gave you a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. Fear prevents you from being calm, and well-balanced, and prevents you from making good decisions. Ready to be free from insecurities and be a bold and beautiful woman of God? Take our BOLD & BEAUTIFUL Course! This course will help you understand where your insecurities come from and how to break up with them for good.