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We can't address the need for modesty and body image healing without understanding the origins of sexual objectification & the spiritual war that's surrounding us. Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person solely as an object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity. First, sexual sin is no stranger to the human race. It is understood that sexual sin has had its deep roots in our society since the beginning of time. Sin is our general issue, the ways in which we practice sin only further & deepen the condition. Sin causes us to mistreat God, other people, & ourselves. So in the context of sexual sin, we bring harm to ourselves (1 Cor. 6:18), harm to the recipient (1 Thess. 4:6), & ultimately offend the Holy & Most High God. (1 Thess. 4:8) these scriptures address sexual immorality, which involves two people joining together for intercourse outside of marriage. What do sexual immorality & sexual objectification have in common? They are both sexual sins. One could say the latter (objectification) leads to the other (intercourse). How is that? Because Jesus teaches that adultery starts in the heart, "when we LOOK with lust at someone we commit adultery in our heart" (Matthew 5:28) & also "if our EYES cause us to sin, pluck it out" (Matt. 5:29) Objectifying someone is imagining or looking at them in a way that reduces them to lustful desires. I am led to believe that sexual objectification is a fruit of sexual immorality. When we indulge in this sin, we harm others because we are taking what does not belong to us (their body), & using their body only as an object to please ourselves. In turn, this causes us to see other people as an object of our pleasure & a way to get our needs met. Sexual immorality causes us to see other people as an object of our pleasure & a way to get our needs met. It is self-seeking. Their name, personality, soul, & purpose don't matter when you are only thinking of yourself & that moment. You might say, "Well, my boyfriend loves & cares about me." But if only y'all knew how damaging it is to indulge your bodies in what doesn't belong to each other. Someone who cares about you wouldn't want to hurt you in this way. If He knew Christ, he would see you & love you like Christ. This leads to the next point, sexual objectification in advertising, media, and propaganda, ' doesn't matter ' because you are only trying to increase sales or get a message heard. The person behind the camera doesn't matter, only the photos. The first signs of sexual objectification appeared in the 1870s when Pearl Tobacco decided to put a naked woman on their cigarette box. By the 1880s, they were the leading brand in cigarettes & other brands started catching on to their tactics (1). Sexual Advertising in the 1900s continued to trend with subtle imagery & catchphrases until now in the 2000s, it's super blatant & deemed a social norm. Today, it is normal to see a Victoria's Secret commercial AND fashion show live, when around the 1930s - the 1960s they were adamant about censoring nudity & sex in film & TV (2). Statistics show that this has led to a heightened sex appeal in men & women, and I'd beg to differ that this has contributed to misogynistic lyricism in hip-hop, uncensored television, increase in pornography, increased occurrences of sex-trafficking, & I'm sure there are plenty more shameful things unmentioned. Sin has no boundaries, it keeps going on & on & on. This plays into the record low self-esteem that women & men deal with because of sexual sin being rampant. Take a look at these ads from back when... because we see others as objects of pleasure, ads like this became another way to sell more products. Not only did we learn how to increase sales with nudity & sex appeal, but we also learned how to play on society's emotions for consumerism. "We've cracked the code! Push the imagery & the messages to the masses, so that people will emotionally respond & buy our solutions to their problems. Tell her she is nothing without this look & she'll go buy it. She'll destroy her body & health to be accepted because we told her she wasn't good enough." In ending, "Be not conformed to the world systems & customs, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what is the good, acceptable, & perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2) It is not God's will that we harm ourselves by self-objectifying which leads to low self-esteem & exploitation. It is not God's will that we hurt others by only seeing them as their body & meeting our needs. It is not God's will that we offend Him with our sinfulness, but that we have a restored relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ. Renew your mind & relationship with Him today . #trends #sexualobjectification #sexappeal #history References: Psychology For Marketers , (1) Arizona State University , (2)

I was so pleased to see that famous R&B singer K. Michelle decided to speak out about the negative effects of plastic and cosmetic surgery. Frankly, she is the only celebrity who seems willing to open up about the horrors she and others have faced. I'm also glad that Lifetime picked up the idea as a series to help shed light and bring hope and healing to the many men and women who've experienced the drawbacks of undergoing plastic surgery. I actually wrote about this epidemic a few years ago, mentioning the increase in surgeries in young adults. Previous Blog Stats (2018) Plastic surgery is on the rise with an increase of 115% since the early 2000s. - ASPS 333,000 cosmetic procedures were done in patients 18 years old and younger. - Journal of Adolescent Health Cosmetic Surgery is a $2.2 billion dollar business. - Cosmetic Surgery Trends $16.4 billion was spent on procedures in 2016. A lot of money is spent in this industry, similar to the makeup industry. I don't know any other industry that grows as fast as makeup, fashion, and surgery; I think this says a lot about us. We are obsessed with vanity! I know of 3 women close to my own circles who went to Miami to get butt surgeries. You may say, "Why do you care? It's none of your business." It's not. But I care because I don't like seeing so much poor self-image, competition, and conformity in women today. I'm willing to bet that there's a large percentage of women who seek out surgery because of culture and entertainment influence. The same reason a lot of women went bulimic or anorexic to become size 2 models. There's a standard out there that most of us wish we could meet. Updated Plastic Surgery Stats (2020) The 2020 total revenue of surgical and nonsurgical cosmetic surgery in the USA was $9.31 billion - Statista The most common procedure worldwide is breast augmentation (breast increase) - Statista The plastic surgery industry saw an increase of 7.1% since 2018 - Forbes Why is Cosmetic Surgery a Problem? Some studies show that mass media and advertising may have an effect on the decisions for cosmetic surgery ( I Want to Look Like That! ) It sounds like there are millions of people, mostly women, who are unhappy with their natural appearance. Celebrity culture glorifies getting work done on their bodies, which in turn influences society to do the same thing. Are we really living in a "monkey see monkey do" society? It's crazy to think that we let other people influence how we feel about ourselves and our lives. I was so happy to see all of the Body Image Movement advocates speaking up about the issues women face with appearance and acceptance. "It's about time," was all I could say once it started getting more attention. Even the Body Image Movement has its pros and cons, it appears that in our quest to be ourselves, we are missing the biggest part about ourselves... How Does God Feel About Body Image Issues? God created humanity in His image. We bear the marks of our Great Creator who shaped us from the dust. You don't have to believe this truth, but think about how complex your body is...think about the many things that we still cannot explain. Think about how your body naturally repairs and recovers itself, yet it still dies. If God made us in His image, a body designed by a Grand Designer, with a Master Plan, the very words of God who spoke the Universe into existence, then why isn't this enough for us? Let me tell you a secret, which really isn't a secret at all; however, it is available to those who have the ears to hear it. "God has planted eternity, a sense of divine purpose, in the human heart." - Ecclesiastes 3:11 AMP This means that we all have a deep longing for living forever, and we have a longing for a purpose bigger than ourselves. Could this longing that you have to stay young, stay beautiful, and stay relevant be the very evidence that you desire something deeper than the surface? Maybe what you are doing on the outside is a reflection of what you need inside of you. Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay vibrant and healthy, but our desires can turn into a disaster, an epidemic of self-hatred and insecurity. I am here to tell you that there is a fountain of youth. Where is the Fountain of Youth? Sorry sis, there's no physical place for the Fountain of Youth...unless...you want to take a trip to the Dead Sea lol. I heard and read that Dead Sea minerals hold anti-aging beauty secrets 👀 which I've used before on my nails; might wanna add that to your list. But here is the secret that transforms life as you know it: God holds the Fountain of Youth and wants nothing more than to give it to you. He went all the way to the point of death just so you could have it FOREVER! Here is what God says about obtaining the fountain of youth: "And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever ." 1 John 2:17 NLT The truth is, sis, you can get all of the Botox and plastic surgery you want, but one thing is for sure: you will get old and die. However, the story doesn't end; if you do the will of God, you shall abide FOREVER. "And this is the way to have eternal life—to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth." - John 17:3 You don't have to strive and work so hard at your appearance, spending thousands to stay on top of the game. One day you will leave here, and your beauty and possessions won't go with you. Your soul goes with you. Choose to grow your soul and give it what it really wants, eternity with God, FOREVER. Learn more about God's plan for you and the world, and how you can have eternal life through Jesus Christ. Excerpts from The Fountain of Youth blog post-2018

It’s been six years since I wrote Royalty and it is still one of my most beloved songs! It was actually the final song I wrote to complete the P31 EP , bringing on a huge sigh of relief after hours of toiling and pressing to meet the project deadline. Somehow, no matter how much I try, I always end up in crunch time when it comes to releasing my albums (lol). I guess being under pressure works for me because the Holy Spirit seems to produce the best work when I am in desperate need of God’s creative power. Royalty was birthed out of my desire to motivate and empower women to recognize and embrace their true worth in Christ. At a time when the hip-hop industry and media were placing such heavy emphasis on vanity and sexuality, I wanted women to know they were worth more than their outward appearance and sexual abilities. Lyrics like, “We do not pump up our booty cause we are already too pumped up with our inner beauty” “My mind is more flawless than my hair b/ I know my intellect will make you stare g/ yeah, I know you like my virtuosity” are bold statements that remind us of 1 Peter 3:3-4 . Living in a generation of women who are comfortable with being called ho's and b’s inspired me to be the voice that reminds them that they were born to be queens. We are not powerless women who need to compromise our morals and exploit our bodies to gain money and success. The truth is that it is God who has given us the power to obtain wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18) . Royalty encourages us to use our authority and influence to pursue the blessings of the Lord that make us rich and add no sorrow. It reminds us that we are the royal priesthood and chosen generation that is called to not only enjoy those blessings for ourselves but to educate and inspire the next generation to pursue kingdom success in Christ also. About Murk Murk’s professional music career began after entering the Battle of the Praises music competition in Miami, Fl in 2012. After performing for award-winning Christian artists, Vicki Winans, Kierra Kiki Sheard, Beckah Shae, and Mr. Del, she walked away with the grand prize of $5,000 and some major exposure. This exposure landed her the attention of Grammy-nominated recording artist, minister, & CEO Mr. Del, who in 2013, offered her a recording contract on his label Dedicated Music Group. From there, she stepped out in faith, quit her job as an insurance agent, and packed up to move to Memphis, TN, to pursue her hip-hop music career and kingdom purpose. Since signing to DMG, Murk has released five music projects, including her debut album Murk In Season (2013), mixtape Still Murkin’ (2015), women’s empowerment EP, P31 (2015), sophomore album Kingdom Kulture (2017), and latest release 31 Gang (2020). Her hit song ‘P31’, which provides a hip-hop spin on the Proverbs 31 woman, landed her music video placement on the music show Next, which airs on Magic Johnson’s television network, Aspire. Read more about Murk. Follow Murk P31! IG: @murkp31 FB: /MURKP31 Website: https://www.murkp31.com

God made women very beautiful creatures. In fact, He looks at all humanity as beautiful, a masterpiece, a work of art. It is in our very nature to be noticed, recognized, & appreciated. It is not a bad thing to desire recognition & to be seen. We are people, we are alive, our lives matter in the scope of things. I want to think that being acknowledged or noticed is a part of everyday mannerisms. When we walk into a room, we greet whoever is present. We speak to people when we make eye contact. But I'm afraid that our desire for attention has become an inordinate or excessive problem. Women in particular are easily drawn to an excessive desire for attention. We often alter our look and behavior to be noticed. Let's learn what the Bible says about attention-seeking. When is Seeking Attention Okay? Let's start with the good news. It's okay to seek attention for the right reasons. Whatever our expertise, we desire to be recognized for our skill level and education. When going to a job interview, we make sure to be well-groomed and professional so that we stand out from the other applicants. We brush up on our skills, resumes, and personal development because we need the right attention. There are certain desires that we have in life, and so it is a requirement to prepare and position ourselves in a way to be seen by those who can help us reach our goals. Even in relationships, we carry ourselves a certain way to be pleasing to the eye. Not just in the matter of dress but even in our personality and character. Most people will say, "A woman doesn't need to find a man, she just has to wait," true to an extent, but a woman needs to get dressed and be presentable enough to be found by him! He's not going to find her at home. My point is, seeking attention for the right reasons is wisdom. Opportunities don't always find us, but only when we get in a position to be recognized. Attention-Seeking Examples That are Sinful Now the bad news is, seeking attention can be an inordinate desire. The Bible talks about "inordinate affections" , which are similarly called lust and evil desire. Inordinate means to be excessive, unnatural, without limitation. How far can we go to be seen? We often see in movies that a young secretary looking to get a raise or promotion might undo a few buttons, wear something a little more revealing, to get the boss's attention. Or maybe even manipulate a few people so that they appear more qualified. This is desire gone wild. Online, we see many young women undressing, poking it out a little further, wearing more makeup, even getting boob and butt jobs to satisfy their inordinate desire for attention. It's a deep longing to be seen, to be loved and liked by strangers who couldn't care less what their name is. Because they have an inordinate desire also to have what they're gawking at. It 's vicious. If you find yourself doing "inordinate" things for attention, then it's time to repent and change your old ways of getting it. Ask yourself: What kind of attention are you seeking and why? What will it do for you? What do you think it will accomplish? There's a root to every sin, and searching your heart to answer these questions can reveal what you're really needing. Maybe you didn't get attention growing up, maybe men have rejected you a lot... I know that feeling. If you've come to realize that your need for attention has been sinful, repent, and renew your mind in God's truth. But God says in Zechariah 2:8 , "You are the apple of His eye". "Don't draw attention to yourselves by the way you look, but adorn your inner beauty which is most precious to God," 1 Peter 3:3-4. Think on these things. He can change you. If you need accountability and a deep dive into healing your self-worth, our Body Image Detox covers areas like insecurities, fear of opinions, comparison, and even the need for acceptance.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder affects 1.7 to 2.9% of the general population, that is about 5 to 10 million people in the United States according to the International OCD Foundation. Unfortunately, we are seeing consistent growth in the number of people diagnosed with BDD, and many celebrities have spoken out about their diagnosis. What is the cause of body dysmorphia and why is it affecting more people? Check out my Youtube video below as I discuss Doja Cat's body image issues plus a deeper look into the root causes of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. A short transcript is below the video. Disclaimer: I'm a Dual-Certified Body Image and Self-Esteem Coach and I'm not authorized to medically diagnose any mental illnesses. The purpose of this content is educational only. I can coach you if you have BDD and you'd like to develop a plan of action to overcome this condition. Now, on today's episode, we're going to talk about Doja Cat growing up with body image issues, and dealing with BDD symptoms, and we're going to discuss what I believe the root cause of BDD is. Disclaimer, I am not a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider. If you think you have BDD, seek a professional, I am a Body Image & Self-esteem coach and do not treat mental illness but I can probably help you if you don't need medicine. So, Doja Cat told Cosmopolitan Middle East that she struggled with body image her entire life. She said she had body dysmorphia as a teen because she hated her body and didn't like how she was growing. In the article, she mentioned that she was getting bigger and she thought she didn't look good in any of her outfits. I've known people in my lifetime who felt body shame for being curvy or like me, too skinny. So you become obsessed with not being that way. More recently, we've seen Doja Cat go through some physical changes and I honestly believe she's still dealing with BDD, even if it's undiagnosed. I talked more about my theory of celebrities who struggle with body image, it's in our Megan Fox episode about why I think most celebrities struggle with this. So many eyes are on them, so many comments, so many pictures... it causes you to worry about yourself. Mind.org UK listed common causes and treatments for BDD and it said those who model or are into fitness have a greater risk of being body dysmorphic due to the nature of those industries. I believe it's the same way for celebrities who are often in the spotlight or whose looks are the talk of the town, it can cause you to develop fears of being in the spotlight. Professionals don't know the exact cause of BDD but there are a range of different things that can contribute: ​Abuse or bullying Low self-esteem Fear of being rejected Perfectionism or comparing yourself with others Genetics (I don't think so) Depression, anxiety, or OCD But regardless of how it started, I think the common factor out of all of these is a spirit of fear. When you look at the root word, dysmorphophobia it's a fear of having a deformity. It's the fear of being ugly or abnormal. And the most common reason why people have fears about their looks is because of how other people perceive them. Think about it, if we weren't on the planet with anyone else, would you know you're ugly, fat, deformed, or beautiful? We don't realize what we are unless someone else is present. How would you know if it's wrong unless someone told you or if you saw it "perfect"? Who defines perfect anyway... These are questions to ask yourself. Who's definition am I living for? And what makes my appearance wrong? There's something I want you to understand here. If you live your life based on the subjective view of other people, you're always going to have to change. But if you live from an objective view, the fact that everyone is unique and born to be different... the fact that there isn't one look for everyone... you're living in the freedom of who you are. And keep this in mind, God didn't give us a spirit of fear. He didn't create you to live in this world just to fear what other people say. He created you to be in a close relationship with Him, living for the purpose and calling that He destined for you, in the body He created and called good. "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7 If you want help addressing BDD, and you need a support system, I'm here. Learn about my holistic and biblical methods that can help you. Subscribe to our podcast so that you don't miss the next episodes! References: International OCD Foundation Mind.org

For a good part of my education, I was the only colored person. That’s right, in a school of about 600 kids, I was the only non-white. Over the years, the school began to be populated with people from China, Hong Kong, Singapore, and eventually Indians. But for a decent proportion of the time, I was the only brown person. I didn’t feel the distinction all the time. However, I definitely knew I was different when I would unwrap my roti parcel, and all my friends would have their neat little jam sandwiches with the crust cut off. I didn’t love the looks of repulsion I got when they saw my lunch. Of course, now the tables have well and truly turned, and those kids are probably wishing they hadn’t been so naïve about my homemade Indian cuisine! I should say that I didn’t experience any racism at school. In fact, I was quite included. It was only a few critical moments that would remind me of my difference. Like at lunchtime, as mentioned. Or when I had a crush on a guy. There was a girl in my class who pretty much all the guys liked at some stage. She was blonde. Pretty. Skinny. And she was sporty. Eventually, the infatuation with her subsided. But then, another year or so later, another new girl came along who all the boys became preoccupied with. She was blonde. Pretty. Skinny. And kind of sporty. I was friends with all the guys, and yet none of them ever seemed to like me. Why was that? At some point, I became aware of the obvious physical differences between the girls the guys liked and me… And I was different! Almost the opposite, really…I was brown, with black hair; nobody had told me I was pretty, and by that age, I was already shapely (it wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I realized that wasn’t a bad thing). And forget about sporty. I was a typical creative person. As much as I was friends with everyone, it was very rare for a guy to like me…let alone like me back. So, I guess that’s where the mindset developed. I started to believe that beauty looked a certain way. And though I might try, I would never be a part of that elusive group called “the beautiful people”. That group was special, and I would always be on the outside of that group. I belonged to another group entirely. And I would never be able to change groups. I presumed that life was easier for them. They certainly seemed happier. They were WANTED. Everyone flocked to be around them. Barring a few close friends, the only reason why people wanted to hang out with me was to tell me their problems. Something that God clearly saw when He led me to become a counselor. Of course, over time, God has done much to heal my self-esteem issues and rework my ideas of beauty. But this belief about “the beautiful people” has been pretty hard to break down. A few years ago, in our church, this awesome, Godly couple became fairly prominent. And they typified everything that I associated with “the beautiful people”. I felt like I was in high school all over again! They sincerely challenged my beliefs when they demonstrated that they wanted to be around me! How?? We were in different groups! And groups don’t cross-pollinate, right?! I’m definitely still on a journey with this, but the most significant healing I’ve received in this area has been as a result of my learning in humility. I became really passionate about the subject of humility when I recognized pride in myself during my time as a Pastor. Since then I’ve pursued humility and battled for it. Whilst humility refers to how we behave and respond to both God and man, it also has a lot to do with placement. It pertains not only to what God says about who I am, but how God positions or categorizes me. The weight He gives me, or how He values me, directly impacts where I stand before Him. The process for internally developing the idea of “the beautiful people” group essentially happened the same way. I labeled that group accordingly because I believed they had a different value from everyone else. But when you pursue humility, your classification system changes. It no longer becomes about jocks, nerds, beautiful people, and creatives. Because it’s God's position in your life that now determines where everything else is placed. I am so much less than Him, and yet He values me inherently. He doesn’t keep me out of the categories He inhabits. Rather, He includes me in them, on account of the cross. He calls me holy, righteous, chosen, child of God, an equal in the body of Christ, royal, citizen of Heaven…I could go on. Consequently, I can’t place myself as lower than others, because the cross has determined which group or category I belong to. My old grouping system is invalid. And neither am I higher or more valuable than my brothers and sisters. True humility knows its place and its estimation of self. So, it has been one big journey of trying to eradicate my system and look to God as to how He distinguishes me. "Melanie J. Saward is a published Author and Writer. She wrote the book, 'Ministry Stinks: One Leader's Journey from Despair to Joy'. Follow her on IG: @melj_saward

We might not always realize it, but God can feel the same emotions that we feel. Of course, His emotions and thoughts are holy and high above ours. Being made in His image means we take after Him in many ways. He's the Creator, and we also create. He has authority and gave us authority. He desires a relationship with us, and we desire relationships... among many other characteristics that are similar to God and man. One of them is that He is a jealous God, not the human jealousy that comes from covetousness and hatred. His jealousy is a kind that comes from love and longing for His people. His Name is Jealous One of the 10 Commandments states, "You shall have no other god before Me for I Am a jealous God." - Exodus 20:3 further, "You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about His relationship with you." - Exodus 34:14 The Amplified version says, "for the Lord is a jealous (impassioned) God (demanding what is rightfully and uniquely His--") You are uniquely His and rightfully so once you've given your heart to Him. God's jealousy is a passionate commitment, similar to and symbolized often by that of a husband to an unfaithful wife. So no, He doesn't approve when we seek to please the world more than we seek to please Him. He is jealous when we try to flaunt our sex appeal to a depraved and obsessed world. He is jealous when we entertain the lusts of our flesh and disregard the Holy Spirit. Not because of envy, God envies no one, but because He loves us with a fierce love. Love does what's best for you. God Is Jealous Like a Husband I am reminded of a situation in Hollywood between Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. Kim spent eight months perfecting her look for the MET Gala in 2019. Kanye West stated that his wife's dress was "too sexy" and revealing. If you didn't already know, Kanye had professed faith in Jesus Christ, so he no longer had the same mind and perspective on his wife's sex appeal. He wanted Kim to dress modestly. This is how God's jealousy is for us. We are precious to Him, and He will protect us like a husband would a wife. Jesus Christ gave His life for the Church, which is His bride. A bride who is to be found faithful, pure, and unblemished upon His return for her. Are you being faithful, pure, and unblemished? Or are you too concerned about giving the world a good picture? Your makeup is flawless for the gram, but what about your walk with God? He is fiercely passionate about you remaining His. I love what 2 Corinthians 11:2-3 says, "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy because I have promised you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. But I am afraid that even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, your minds may be corrupted and led away from the simplicity of (your sincere) and pure devotion to Christ." This world, ruled by the devil, comes with many tricks and illusions of happiness, so many distractions lead us astray. I take comfort in the fact that God can get jealous because I realize His jealousy is a passionate love that protects me and keeps my heart set on our relationship. It's not to take anything away from us but to bring us closer to what we've always needed, and that's His love that frees us from the grips and pains of sin. The closer we get to God, the more we become jealous and fierce in our pursuit of Him. Do you have a desire to know God's plan for your life? Learn more about His grace and love for you .

Beauty standards have been around us for centuries. In each era, we are constantly pushed with the newest product or procedure to help you "fix" your body. Who said there was anything wrong with it? With the constant social media imagery, advertising, and celebrity culture, it's easy to feel like God made a mistake with your body. In this post, we'll explore three powerful ways you can overcome toxic beauty standards and embrace your true beauty in Christ. But first, if you're looking for support with healing body shame, we created a free email series with 4 actionable steps you can implement this week. Join us if you'd like! 4 Steps to Heal Body Shame What are Toxic Beauty Standards? Toxic beauty standards are unrealistic and harmful beauty ideals that we see advertised in media and society. Studies show that the effects of toxic beauty standards have caused extreme dieting, eating disorders, declines in mental health, and even breakdowns in relationships. They show up in many different aspects such as culture, race, business, and even religious spaces. Some that you may be familiar with are: Size 2 and 5'8" model requirements in the fashion industry The glorification of thinner waists and bigger butts in the Black and Hispanic cultures Emphasis on larger boobs for blondes and White women Popularity of the hourglass shape And these are just a few we may all be familiar with throughout our lifetime that are still being glamourized today in music, media, and advertising. How did they form? Some have formed based on business needs, such as the modeling industry. Most fashion designers prefer thin and taller women to model their clothing. Another example would be the adult entertainment industry requiring certain body types for adult films. Some toxic beauty standards are formed by the wide promotion of common preferences and opinions like that of black women having larger bottoms and this being heavily promoted through music. Although this is a common thing in our society, how can you overcome toxic beauty and embrace the woman God made you to be? Cut it Off The Bible tells us in Matthew 18:9, " And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell." This verse isn't saying to cut out your eye for real but to remove the source of temptation. If toxic beauty standards tempt you to be insecure, jealous, envious, or hateful towards anyone, it's time to remove them from your eyesight. What does this look like? Unfollowing, unsubscribing, restricting, or throwing the whole social media away! I had a client who had to do this. She deleted her old Instagram account to start a new one without following anyone. It was necessary so she could focus on what God was doing in her life and no one else's. Repent and Expose the Lies After you have removed the source of your temptation, prepare your mind to be renewed by repenting to God for any negative behaviors you've picked up along the way. This looks like asking God to forgive you for any jealousy, envy, hatred, or comparison that has poisoned your relationship with God, yourself, and your neighbors. Take note of the lies you've believed that caused you to deviate from God's plans. Lies like, "I'm not good enough without this. No one likes me when I look like that. I need to change this body part so I can feel better. Why did God make me like this?" You Must Renew Your Mind I talk a lot about mindset because renewing your mind is the most important step. After you've cut off your source of temptation, you've exposed the lies of the enemy, you now have room to change your mind. The beautiful thing about repentance is God gives you a clean slate to start fresh. Take the lies of the enemy and seek God's truth to replace them. Meditate consistently on His truths about your body, study them, and make His word your daily bread. There won't be any room for lies when God's truth is your daily nutrition. Do Not Be Conformed Any Longer My favorite scripture Romans 12:2 in the Amplified Version reads, " And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you]." Do not copy these superficial, toxic beauty standards. But focus on changing your mind and maturing spiritually so that you know God's will. When you know His will, you will be transformed into the beautiful woman He designed you to become. Need more support? You should join our free email series, Heal Body Shame. You will get 4 short videos under 3 minutes diving deeper into this method. Journaling promotes self-reflection and shifts in perspective.

Have you ever wondered what the Creator of the Universe thinks about little ol' you? Obviously, yes, if you landed here. I'm a Body Image and Self-Esteem Coach, and I'll be candid: I believe every single one of us wonders more about what other people think of us. Focusing too much on others' opinions can be the biggest obstacle to fulfilling your purpose. However, the thoughts God has about you are more significant and liberating. Start your journey to healing this week! Understanding God's Thoughts A Quick Study of Psalm 139:17-18 "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me!" (NLT) What stood out to you in these verses? For me, it's the first few words, "How precious are your thoughts." The word "precious" in Hebrew is  yaqar , meaning rare, valuable, heavy, or esteemed. How rare, heavy, valuable, and esteemed are God's thoughts about you! The second thing that stood out to me is that God's thoughts cannot be numbered or counted. They outnumber the grains of sand! Did you know that scientists don't know how much sand is on a single beach? It's impossible to count because of how vast it is. They use calculated guesses! We can't even guess how many thoughts God is thinking about a single person, let alone how much sand is on a single beach. Are God's Thoughts Precious to You? As a body image and self-esteem coach, a common denominator I see in potential clients is that the thoughts of others are their biggest problem. The anxiety, insecurity, and fears are usually due to how they're being perceived. While there is a part of you that should care, it shouldn't be the motivation for your life purpose. I'd like to ask every client who struggles with opinions, "Are God's thoughts precious to you?" Remember what precious means in Hebrew: valuable, esteemed, heavy, rare. It seems that other people's opinions are often held in higher regard and value, which can obstruct God's calling in your life. For some reason, what God says is forgotten when other people are speaking. Well, if you've forgotten the precious word of God, let's go back. So, How Does God Think of Me? God's word, the Bible, is filled with His thoughts, plans, purposes, and desires for human life. Here are some thoughts He thinks about you that you probably know by heart: "'For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" (Jeremiah 29:11) "'Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.'" (Isaiah 41:10) "'You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.'" (Song of Songs 4:7) "'For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.'" (Ephesians 2:10) I realized something while reading these scriptures: all of God's thoughts about you personally aren't even written in the Bible! Consider this—no one truly knows what God thinks about your life specifically, except for God. Psalm 139:18 tells us that His thoughts cannot be numbered. The Bible is a numbered canon, so His thoughts just cannot be fully searched! Wow, I am mindblown and thankful I wrote this today. I pray it's blessing you, too. Discovering God's Thoughts How often are you reading and studying God's word? As you spend time getting to know God more, the eyes of your understanding will be opened. You will begin to hear His voice and, as a result, discover more of His thoughts about you. What God is thinking about each of you is personal, intimate, and freeing. Do you need help learning how to study God's word? Join our discipleship classes live or take our self-paced bible study! We'd love to meet you and walk with you on this journey. Here's a pic for your socials if you want to share :) Embracing Your Worth The Importance of Self-Reflection Have you taken a moment to reflect on your self-worth? It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life and forget how valuable you truly are. Self-reflection is a powerful tool. It allows us to pause and consider our thoughts and feelings. When we take time to reflect, we can recognize the negative thoughts that creep in. These thoughts can distort our view of ourselves. They can make us feel less than we are. But remember, you are a creation of God, and that alone gives you immense value. Surrounding Yourself with Positivity Who do you surround yourself with? The people in our lives can greatly influence how we see ourselves. It's essential to be around those who uplift and encourage you. Seek out friendships that remind you of your worth. When you have a support system that reflects God's love, it becomes easier to embrace your identity. You start to see yourself through a lens of grace and acceptance. Practicing Gratitude Gratitude is another powerful practice. When we focus on what we have rather than what we lack, our perspective shifts. Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things you appreciate about yourself each day. This simple act can help reinforce a positive self-image. Seeking God's Guidance In moments of doubt, turn to prayer. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you. His perspective is the ultimate truth. He loves you unconditionally and desires for you to understand your worth. Conclusion: Your Journey to Self-Acceptance Remember, the journey to self-acceptance is ongoing. It's okay to have ups and downs. What matters is that you keep moving forward. Embrace God's thoughts about you. They are precious, and they are meant to guide you. You are worthy. You are loved. And you are not alone on this journey. Let's continue to seek God's truth together.

The short answer is yes, but there's more to it. Exercise is one of those things I highly recommend for overall well-being and self-improvement. Numerous studies have shown that engaging in physical activity has a profound impact on both mental and physical health. Just 30 minutes of exercise per day can significantly boost your mood, leading to a greater sense of happiness and contentment. But can it specifically improve body image, or is there more to it than workout routines? Struggling with body shame? Take 4 steps to heal this week How does exercise affect body image? Regular workout routines have a multifaceted effect on body image. It helps you appreciate body function over your flaws Reduces stress and anxiety to improve mood It gives you a sense of accomplishment, which improves self-esteem The flaws you once perceived begin to look better Studies show that daily exercise is a quick way to see improvements in your body image, whether or not there are physical changes. It's a great way to work towards a positive self-image while boosting overall health. But, is exercise all you need to do? Sometimes exercise is not the only answer to body image issues. You may reach a point in your fitness journey and realize you still struggle with comparison, self-consciousness, and insecurity. While exercise can mostly improve visible body image flaws, it won't always improve your mental health. You can feel good about yourself the day of your routine, and the next day, you're overly critical about your appearance. That's because physical routines can't solve spiritual and mental battles. Positive body image starts with your mind What negative thoughts do you think every day about your body? And what situation caused you to start the pattern of negative thinking about your body? Answering these two questions can help you identify the root, pluck it up, and plant a new seed. Something I've noticed in the body image and self-esteem industry is that we are good at covering up what we really think inside. We use makeup, workout routines, and even photoshoots to create the appearance of being better when we really don't feel any better. As a coach, I challenge you to start addressing your thinking about your body as you exercise. When you log your calories and routines, try to also journal your thoughts. Question them, ask yourself why that thought or statement is there. Slowly, your negative thought patterns will lose their power. Ready to begin? I created 4 Steps to Heal Body Shame to help you address those negative thought patterns about your body and self-image. In 4 days, you'll have questions and root patterns to dig up, and the opportunity for ongoing support from a coach. " It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life." - John 6:63

I wonder how I would show up in the world if I had more Word in me instead of Beyonce, Rihanna, and hot girl summer culture. That's really what I hope to share with women: I'm stripping off and removing the standards of beauty that social media has put out there to accept God's truth of what beauty really is. I’m Synquette, and it’s my desire that all God’s prodigal daughters come back home and sit at the feet of Jesus, to restore their identity that society, pop culture, music, and social media stole from them. Overall, I just want all young women to always see themselves as God sees them: fearfully and wonderfully made and to be content in whatever state they find themselves in: whether single, married, small, tall, or everything in between, whether their face is “beat” or “bare face”. I just want every woman to live a life free from insecurity, rejection, fear, doubt, and unbelief so they can embrace their God-given identity. As we accept God’s love for us and adopt a Kingdom mindset, we understand that in many ways, we gain more by doing less. The more we drown out the noise of all those “get skinny in 10 days with this tea” ads that bombard us when scrolling our timelines, the less insecure we feel and the more we can embrace God’s idea of womanhood and beauty. The less of the world we want to hold onto and the more we give up the cares of this world, the more God can step in and supply all our needs. No more toiling for the affection of men or seeking the approval of others, your job now is to investigate the mirror, which is God’s Word, to truly see how beautiful you are and how wonderfully He created you. That is why it is my desire to see every woman that God has created live in God’s best. I want every woman to live a life filled with God’s glory, grace, favor, and honor. I want every woman to live a life free from insecurity, rejection, fear, doubt, and unbelief. I imagine a life where you, I, our grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, and friends all live a life of true royalty. A life where we lean not to our own understanding but trust and know that our Heavenly Father, who art in heaven (Matthew 6:9 KJV) , King and Ruler of everything, supplies all our needs, wants, and desires. He is truly our source for everything. A Book That Wakes Up Prodigal Daughters I’m on a mission to shake up every prodigal daughter with the truth of God’s Word until she comes to herself and no longer feels she isn’t good enough or measures up to society and pop culture norms. I don’t ever want any daughter of God to ever think there is something wrong with the way God created her. I want every woman to know that her Father, which art in heaven, can give her more than a guy who won’t commit or sends basic “Good morning, beautiful,” and “Can I come thru?” texts. I wrote this book because I know the young women who feel they can’t do better than the last guy who cheated on them. I wrote this book for the young women who don’t think they are worth a lifelong commitment in marriage. I wrote this book for the young women who feel they aren’t pretty unless they wear makeup and Fashion Nova outfits, or have a figure like Kim K and Kylie Jenner. This is NO way for a daughter of God to feel or go about living their life. I wrote this book so every young woman can take the steps necessary to erase, dislodge, and permanently remove every mindset and belief that hinders many from seeing themselves as God sees them. With my book, The Master Reset - A Girl's Ultimate Guide to Clearing Up Space on Her Spiritual Hard Drive , I hope that as I share my story, it helps women go after God's best with no reservations, because for so long I've allowed society to label me and never quite knew my own identity. But it wasn't until I saw my younger sisters following in my footsteps that I was able to see the errors in my ways. That's when I literally prayed and asked God to open their eyes, and I asked God to show my sisters their beauty, worth, and value, and how He could give them the desires of their hearts. If only they would obey and trust Him, (I go into depth about this in Chapter 2 of my book) but little did I know, through that prayer God would open my eyes to see me, and to see that it was I who didn't truly believe or trust God as I proclaimed, that I didn't know my true beauty or value because if I did I wouldn't look for love and acceptance in all the wrong places (trying to fit in and using relationships for validation) and I wouldn't listen to music that promoted fornication and overt sexuality and that became the inspiration behind the book. I realized that all the while I was trying to get the speck out of someone else's eye that God wanted me to remove the mote out of my own, and that's what I set out on a journey to do, evaluating areas of my life that weren't quite aligned with God's Word or His Will for my life and removing all those beliefs that kept me from receiving His best. Get an autographed copy of my book by sending a DM on Instagram !

The other day, a friend of mine posted on her Instagram story about the amount of exercise necessary to burn off a café-made avocado on toast. My immediate internal dialogue was: “ Are you serious? Thanks for ruining the one meal I can have at a café! ” If she had said the bacon and eggs, I would’ve thought, “I thought so. That’s why I have avocado on toast. Winning!” But no, she had to go after good old safe avocado on toast. Now, what am I going to do?! Eat muesli at a café? I can eat that at home. The café version is not any better, and it's three times more expensive. See, for those of us who have a less-than-positive relationship with food, you get my frustration. All my life, I have been developing a master list of sorts that contains every food declared bad. It’s a long list! I first started developing it at three years of age, and of course, it had the obvious offenders: Chocolate Lollies Chips Soft Drinks Chips McDonald's But as time has gone on, the list has exploded with things I never thought (as a child), would be worthy of exclusion: Some fruits Milk Nightshades Corn Bread Pasta Red Meat All sugars Some salads (actually most that are bought) Avocado on toast (thanks, friend!) Add to this list known food intolerances (beans) that I accrued in the last five years, and there ends up being very little that I can legitimately eat. So, what do I do? I essentially have two choices: Incessantly obsess over meals and control every morsel Have constant guilt about the foods I just consumed Ok, I am exaggerating a little. It’s not so bad anymore. I’ve grown up a lot, and my energy is occupied with other matters. But the list still exists. It just takes a lot more for the guilt to penetrate (because I don’t have the time to be at the necessary level of obsession to get a perfect scorecard on my eating habits) and for it to be lodged deep enough to make a difference. Although, at times it does have a cumulative effect. I’ve often thought that based on how I eat and the little willpower I seem to have in the face of food….that I just LOVE food. Certainly, with my overweight size, others would assume as such. 😕 But it’s quite the opposite: I kind of HATE food. This probably explains why as a teenager, I went through seasons where I just wouldn’t eat. I am grateful that it didn’t become a persistent pattern of behavior, which I in no way account for any strength in myself. That’s probably just another testimony to God’s surprising grace that makes an appearance frequently throughout my life history – mostly without my awareness. But I genuinely think I’ve HATED food. Because I couldn’t eat almost anything with peace in my heart. Everything I ate would inevitably contribute to my self-condemnation. I’ve had to think about this a lot as a parent. A lot of my friends are painstakingly persistent in making sure that their kids eat healthily. And I applaud them for it because they are genuinely concerned about the health of their kids, not because of body image. That is not at all how my list developed. For me, and with my default behaviors, my efforts are focused on ensuring that my daughter has a healthy relationship with food where she doesn’t deem ANYTHING as ultimately good or bad. She’s allowed to have chocolate, and she knows that it’s only unhealthy if it is in excess. At this age, I can decide what moderation is, and I retract the chocolate at the right time. But she certainly doesn’t see chocolate as bad. And I am going to keep encouraging this mindset for as long as I possibly can. I’m trying to embrace a completely different way of thinking about food: Food is neither good nor bad. Food is fuel. There are certainly better fuels than others; just ask a mechanic. But Jesus Himself declared all foods as clean ( Mark 7:18 ). Now, He meant that the things we consumed did not contribute to the cleanliness of the soul. So, it’s not quite the same thing. But it does reassure me that food is not supposed to have some kind of impact on the value I place on myself. This is why the good and bad list was developed in the first place. I was using it to make judgments on myself and brutally scrutinize the one thing that stood between me and a healthy body image. Food is not supposed to determine our holiness or purity. It appears, at least scripturally, to give more attention to how food is consumed than what exactly enters the mouth (to a degree, of course). 1 Timothy 4:4 says, “For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving” . This verse makes me aware of the fact that there is still a lot of food that I don’t feel thankful for. Not because they are inherently bad, but because they still represent something ‘bad’ to me. Like the potential loss of love. Or rejection on account of my appearance. But at least I have a vision! I know that I will have truly healed from all body image issues when I wake up one day and realize that I am emphatically joyful and thankful for every food God has provided to me for my nourishment. I have a way to go, but I’m trying. Are you struggling with body shame and guilt? Join our free series called Heal Body Shame . You will get 4 short and impactful videos to help you address body shame and more support to overcome and be confident in who God designed you to be. This post was brought to you by Melanie J. Saward, a published author and ministry leader from Australia. She is the author of three books, podcast host of The Pink Elephant, and a mom and wife. Connect with Melanie: Instagram | Website