They say comparison is the thief of joy, and honestly, it is a plague to the female population. It appears while you're scrolling online on social media, or while doing some shopping at the mall. Maybe you whisper to yourself, "Just be thankful for everything I have. God is always good", but you still find yourself wondering why everyone else's life (or body) is better than yours. Here's how you can overcome comparison in 5 steps that you can skip to now.
Bonus: Sign up for our free course for your breakthrough from comparison
What Does the Bible Say About Comparing Yourself to Others?
Let's look at scripture from the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 10. In this chapter, Paul is addressing some believers who were attacking his apostleship and boasting about themselves. "Of course, we wouldn’t dare to put ourselves in the same class or compare ourselves with those who rate themselves so highly. They compare themselves to one another and make up their own standards to measure themselves by, and then they judge themselves by their own standards. What self-delusion!" - 2 Corinthians 10:12 TPT
Why would The Passion Translation say that comparing ourselves is self-delusion? Comparing in Greek is sugkrino, which means to "identify with or judge something together". It also means to contrast or resemble, a comparative evaluation. When you compare yourself to another person, you are identifying with them and judging yourself against them. It's like putting two images together and doing a checklist of what's different or similar. It sounds like a silly thing to do, doesn't it? That's what we are doing in our minds, we are judging ourselves based on what others have which is very unwise.
Everyone is in a different season of life, so to compare your season to what God is doing in someone else's life is delusional. You are failing to realize and make peace with God's Sovereignty. If you were supposed to have it the same way that someone else does, then surely He would have made it so.
Another scripture reads, "Don't compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours." - Galatians 6:4 ERV. The Bible tells us to focus on our own work so that we can be proud of what we've accomplished. We should never base our contentment and satisfaction on "keeping up with the Kardashians".
What Is the Standard?
Think about it this way, when you're comparing yourself to someone, you are making them the standard of what your life should be like. The Bible tells us that holiness is the standard and that we should imitate Christ. When we make other people the standard, we are making them superior and this leads to idolatry. This is when you choose to obey something or someone other than God.
The measure you're using to compare yourself is sinful and isn't rooted in God. The only person we are called to imitate is Jesus Christ. If we're going to measure ourselves by someone, then put your life and Jesus' life next to each other and compare how holy you're becoming since being a follower of Christ. Everything else is folly and sinking sand.
5 Simple Steps to Stop Comparing Yourself
Self-discipline is painful, but it will produce righteous fruit in your life. What makes these steps simple is that overcoming comparison is not as hard as it seems to be. It just takes consistency and honest self-evaluation.
Repent for comparing yourself and for coveting what others have. The first step for Believers to get victory over anything is to repent for doing it wrong and work on changing the direction. Ask God to forgive you for your lack of contentment, for your lust for things people have, jealousy and envy, for being unloving, for unthankfulness, for all the things that lead to comparing ourselves to someone. Repent for having a selfish and carnal view of your life and others.
Limit the trigger to compare yourself. In Biblical terms, remove the source of temptation. What causes you to fall into comparison? Remove that thing or limit your exposure either forever or for a season for soul work. This could mean taking a break from social media, stopping celebrity television, or restricting your cousin or friend's posts that you often compare yourself to. The Bible says, "Lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily entangles us..." - Hebrews 12:1. Whatever is driving your thoughts of comparison, lay it aside.
Come back to the reality of your own life. Romans 12:3 calls this "be honest in your evaluation of yourselves" and Galatians 6:4, "focus on your own work". One way to focus on the present is to write a thankfulness list of 10 or more items and situations you can thank God for. Be honest about where you are in life and release the fantasy or measurement that you have in mind. Being sincere and repentant is the path to healing and deliverance from your current state of mind.
Practice thankfulness, as previously mentioned. Psychology studies have proven that thankfulness gives you a boost in mental wellness and happiness. When we are thankful for what God is doing in our lives, we leave little room for discontentment. Building a habit of gratitude can help with the temptation to complain and compare.
Along with your thankfulness list, study the scriptures about contentment, thankfulness, and jealousy so that your brain begins to process what is true and discard the lies. Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus on what is true and the positive things in our lives. Don't focus on what you see as "lacking" and "missing", but focus on what is true, lovely, and good about your situation. The word of God is powerful and pulls down strongholds, so if comparison seems strong in your mindset, it just hasn't heard the word of God yet!
I pray this helps you start the process of overcoming comparison. 87% of women compare themselves to images online, so you are not alone in your struggles. If you'd like to take a deeper dive into the heart condition of comparison and experience a breakthrough, sign up for our free Stop Comparing Yourself Course.
thank u for all the effort